Yeah, there
are in fact
two of them: Robin & Robin Bullock comprise a
husband-and-wife fundie wingnut duo of
self-declared prophets (husband Robin seems to be most
active) best known for promoting insane conspiracy theories, deranged Qanon
nonsense and Trump-is-still-president ramblings – according to husband Robin, God told him (like He told other
prophets) in advance of the 2020 election
that Biden will not be president and that the Democratic Party will
go underground: “President Trump will win by a landslide,” asserted
Bullock. Given that it was told in the voice of God, the content of the prophecy
is of course unassailable; subsequent events,
like the actual election results just means that work is needed to get
the terrain to fit the map (“it takes a while to dig out of a landslide,”
said Bullock; just think about it).
He also
screamed at his critics that he would not apologize for falsely
prophesying that Trump would win in 2020: “You are going to answer for
trying to regulate the Lord’s prophets. You, with your big educations,” declared
Bullock. Indeed, he claims (without evidence, of course) to
have prophesied both 9/11 and the COVID-19 pandemic, so he couldn’t possibly
have been wrong about Trump’s reelection!
Bullock
later claimed that President Biden is attempting to “stop
prophecy” by having defeated Trump in the election, and will thus be driven
mad because he does not have the anointing of God on him – “this so-called
administration is actually a regime whose sole purpose is to stop a prophecy
from coming to pass. That’s what it is,” claimed Bullock. He also urged Biden to publicly
confess that the 2020 presidential election was fraudulent and that he is not
the legitimate president – according to Bullock, God has “extended this hand of
mercy” by giving Biden the opportunity to repent for supposedly stealing
the election from Trump: “Stand up and say, ‘It was a fraud.’ Stand up and
say, ‘I didn’t win legitimate.’ […] It is an opportunity for you to make it
right. Stand up before the American people before your handlers can stop you.”
When Biden
– “a jackal sitting in the White House seat” whom God has told him (Bullock)
has become “dangerous to America” – failed to accommodate his
request, Bullock asserted that Biden has a “slotted serpent’s
eye,” which he claimed is evidence of demonic possession, and that whenever Biden whispers, he is
actually channeling “the voice of a demonic spirit”. The demonic
connection has in fact been there for a while: apparently the stage at the
Democratic National Convention in 2008 was modeled “after the throne of Satan”;
Bullock offered no picture of the latter for support, but informed his
listeners, in lieu of such documentation, that God also told him that “everyone knows that the
Democrat Party is evil”. Given the present state of affairs, it is in fact a sin to recognize Biden as president,
and no one can legitimate pray for “President Joe Biden” because no such
person exists: “You might as well pray for the Easter Bunny.” There are
also constant, numerous sign that Biden’s presidency (at least when President
Biden doesn’t simply fail to exist) is “finished”.
In 2021,
Bullock revealed that God had let him know that “the
decision has been made” about returning Trump to office before November the
same year. Around the same time, he urged his fellow “prophets” to
come together and call former President Donald Trump back
to the White House, declaring that if they will do so, “God will
supernaturally move things out of the way” to allow Trump to return. One
would have thought the effort to sway God redundant since the decision had
already been made. Whatever.
Bullock can
also report that God is very upset about the FBI search of Mar-a-Lago: “God didn’t like that. It
didn’t sit well in Heaven.” He has elsewhere urged Donald Trump to call him (Bullock)
so that he could deliver a prophetic word from God (presumably that Trump was “anointed
from the day you were born to be president”) on how to regain the White
House: Apparently, the God-advised strategy consists of deciding to “rise up”. So there. Bullock insisited that
Trump must listen to prophets, not his advisors, and claimed to have heard in the spirit
that Trump’s advisors told him not to listen to prophets. Bullock’s ability to
judge the reliability of information is demonstrably questionable.
On the
other hand, Bullock has actually met both Jesus and God in person: Jesus
ostensibly spoke to him after walking through a water portal, and Bullock has “been to heaven in different
Throne Rooms a couple of times”; one time he “watched [God] create the
world” and “[i]t was the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen”. He’s
got a way with words. It’s not a good way. And God apparently lives inside a “cube
of gelatin”. Bullock has seen it*: “You could see his hair. You could
see the outline of it inside that. You could see his beard.” “It was
pure energy”, since energy is just like a cube of gelatin. Bullock
emphasized that, given the energy, “the cube had to be there”.
*He
apparently didn’t try to engage with the cube to free the trapped object,
despite the opportunity for 650 XP. There’s a decent novel’s worth of backstory
to the encounter, we suspect.
COVID
Weighing in
on COVID, Bullock screams that Dr. Anthony Fauci is a “serpent”
and “a rat” whose appearance has been distorted by a cube of gelatin
demonic spirit. He also claims that COVID-19 vaccines are a “deadly
placebo,” which makes no sense whatsoever at any possible level but nicely
encapsulates the mind of Robin Bullock. It’s interesting to note that
everything seems to fall apart for Robin Bullock whenever he tries his hand at
words with more than two syllables: ‘placebo’, ‘regulate’, ‘energy’, ‘gelatin’.
Then he attempted to use his spiritual authority to
negate the effectiveness of COVID-19 vaccines: “In the name of Jesus, I call
that serum null and void.” Well, then. (Bullock trusts his superpowers:
back in the days, it was his prayers that caused Saddam Hussein to release hostages). In 2021, he declared that if any Christian who received a
COVID-19 vaccine will repent, God would “neutralize its effects inside your
blood stream.”
And who do
you think is behind the pandemic (apart from Biden, Soros, Clinton and Fauci)? According to
Bullock, companies offering DNA genetic
testing were part of the plot to create COVID-19, with COVID being, in fact, a
biological weapon that was released so they could give you a vaccine that will
steal your soul [he’s got a funny view of biology]: “I’m convinced
that’s what all those DNA tests were about. People say [who?], ‘Well, you can’t
prove that.’ Maybe not, but you can’t prove that it wasn’t.” On other occasions, the vaccines are designed to
condition people to eventually get microchips implanted in their brains as part
of the Mark of the Beast.
General
theology
According
to Bullock, tithing is important. Lots of people think the same, but
Bullock has his own explanation for why it is important: According to Bullock, tithing –
which he calls “circumcising your money” – is something you should do
because it helps angels identify you when you walk into a tire store, so that
you will get the best deal and so that your entire family won’t be killed in a
car crash.
Also, if
you thought Jesus was poor, well he wasn’t. No, Jesus was a wealthy man who “had
five houses”.
Dimly aware that the Scriptural basis for the assertion is somewhat slim,
Bullock has a quick reply: “I don’t even care. He had five houses!” Poverty
is a sin. Send him money.
Other
issues
Bullock
also seems to fancy himself a bit of a Constitutional scholar, having
apparently tried to read some of David Barton’s pseudohistorical misinformation.
Bullock claims for instance that the U.S. Constitution is the only
one in history “that has never changed” because it was “written from
the word of God” – indeed, “we get everything you know of in our
Constitution from the scripture.” It would be interesting to know what his
copy of the Constitution – or the Bible – looks like; in fairness, we suspect
he hasn’t read either. And it is apparently a Consitutional requirement for
being president that you are properly ordained by God; therefore Biden can’t be
president. “Democracy” means that only God’s vote actually counts, even though
he’s not an American citizen.
Bullock’s attempt to explain, with the aid of a chart, how
Satan “made a hallway that spanned time” to bring “a duplicate of the
Antichrist” in the form of Barack Obama back from the Last Days is somewhat
hard to follow – it certainly lacks the coherence of the Cartoon Network
superhero cartoon plots it otherwise tries to emulate.
Apparently “Barack Obama was prophetically
removed from office” in 2010, however. In fact, Jesus already named “Barack Obama” as Satan in
Luke 10:18 (Bullock is not the first one to make that insanely stupid claim). Indeed, to emphasize the threat
Obama actually posed, Bullock has tried to show how (well: assert that)
former President Barack Obama intentionally destabilized the United States in
preparation for the presidency of Hillary Clinton, who would then go on to use
the planned COVID-19 pandemic to fully destroy the nation and usher in the End
Times.
Speaking
about Clinton, Bullock declared that people who voted for Hillary
Clinton in the 2016 presidential election are responsible for the COVID-19
pandemic in 2020: “when they voted for this, it brought the coronavirus.
That’s where it came from.” Also, “the Book of Revelation talks about
Jezebel, and Bill and Hillary Clinton’s life is perfectly paralleled with Ahab
and Jezebel. That’s who they are. And I mean, perfectly parallel.” Ah, those
three-syllable words again, ‘perfectly’ and ‘parallel’.
But be
warned: In 2021, Bullock declared that those who mock him will be driven insane by God. His critics are also gay: “LGBTQ
– whatever they call themselves”.
Apparently,
though, gay people are possessed by a demonic spirit that is intent on covering
up their true calling as evangelists for Jesus (“this is what I’ve heard from
the Lord”): Bullock claims to have received a lot of prayer requests asking
for healing from cancer, diabetes, and homosexuality, something he has,
according to himself (and you know how trustworthy he is!), been
incredibly successful at.
Bullock is,
however, not a nobody in the raging fundie pen of the Stop-the-steal
clown train; he’s apparently affiliated with Elijah Streams (part of the Elijah
List); someone like Roger Stone seeks him out for media exposure.
Apparently Rachel Hamm, a GOP candidate for secretary of
state in California, is a big fan of the Bullocks, too.
Diagnosis:
Funny-horn honker on the fundie wingnut clown-train as it rambles on, building
steam and trying to crush everything in its path. It’s scary and dangerous, but
it’s impossible not to look and laugh.