AlphaBioCentrix is a Nevada-based “biotech” company that bills itself as providing “Software for the Human Body” (if you think that sounds interesting, I have a bridge to sell you), and which sells various pseudoscientific nonsense such as “Quantum Energy Bracelets” and “Health Pendants”. They’re also behind the “Body Vibes” stickers sold and promoted by Gwyneth Paltrow’s insane pseudoscience and bullshit company Goop. The stickers were ostensibly supposed to “rebalance the energy frequency in our bodies,” and if you wonder what on Earth that could possibly mean, Goop is there to supply you with a string of nonsense technobabble augmented with pseudo-religious New Age fog: “Human bodies operate at an ideal energetic frequency, but everyday stresses and anxiety can throw off our internal balance, depleting our energy reserves and weakening our immune systems,” said the promotional material, and the stickers “come pre-programmed to an ideal frequency, allowing them to target imbalances”. They also claimed, at some point, that the stickers were made using “NASA space suit material”, but that’s a meaningful and falsifiable claim, so they quickly had to remove it to avoid trouble with consumer protection laws.
The stickers featured at $120 for a 24-pack, and were ostensibly worth it given their alleged ability to assuage anxiety and vague and unspecific pains, based on something called “Bio Energy Synthesis Technology.” Apparently AlphaBioCentrix’s founder Richard Eaton developed the technology after getting “engineers” to divulge to him the secrets THEY don’t want you to know about. “Without going into a long explanation about the research and development of this technology,” says Eaton (because, of course, neither the explanation nor the research exists), “it comes down to this; I found a way to tap into the human body’s bio-frequency, which the body is receptive to outside energy signatures.” He did not.
As for the aforementioned “health pendants”, they ostensibly contain an “energy chip” that is “programmed with specific subharmonic frequencies that assist in [list of vague terms like “environmental”, “mood swings” and “promotes healing”]. […] Programming the energy chips is a unique process that utilizes our patented Bio Energy Synthesis Technology; an infusion process, which when functional will hold bio frequencies to the substrate material. When the health pendant is worn around the neck, the energy from the energy chip taps into your chakras [oh, yeah]. Balancing between the chakras promotes health and a sense of wellbeing. ─ Long known by the ancient healers, healing is a three-way arrangement between, body, mind and spirit. Today’s science has shown the human body has an ‘electrical frequency’ and that much about a person’s health can be determined by it.” No, today’s science has not shown that. Note too how e.g. the “blue chip” (they’ve got several of them in different colors) is supposed to do “diabetic”. It doesn’t specify what it will do for diabetis. Thus AlphaBioCentrix plans to avoid legal trouble if you ever deluded yourself into thinking it could have any actual health benefit.
You can read more about their “Digestive Solution™ Energy Card” that will supposedly “boost your ‘Body’s Energy Signature’” and the “Gravity Balance” chips that will “encourage proper cell reproduction while sleeping” here.
Diagnosis: Usually, it seems to us, people who have been pushing what they know is fraudulent pseudoscience will gradually come to believe their own claims. We cannot for the life of us think that Richard Eaton does; surely there’s a limit to how much bullshit even Eaton’s brain is able to process.
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