#1130: Chris Sevier

We refused to include Phil Robertson in this Encyclopedia, but we can’t overlook Chris Sevier. Sevier apparently claims to attend the same church as Robertson and filed a lawsuit against the A&E network, GLAAD and President Obama when Robertson was suspended for bigoted comments in December 2013. Sevier put together a 91-paged complaint quoting Scripture about the sins of homosexuality and emphasizing that “[w]e live in a Christian nation, ‘Jack.’” The complaint in particular claims that A&E’s suspension of Robertson is going to have a chilling effect on other churchgoers when it comes to preaching what he believes is the word of God – in fact, this is precisely why he claims to have standing in the case. Obama was named since he is in league with A&E to “further a pro-gay agenda” (which means that Obama is named simply for having his political views). The complaint also included a series of pictures, the legal purpose of which is nebulous.

Of course, Sevier did not have standing, nor did he state any cognizable legal claim. The complaint was certainly not helped by the fact that he quoted scripture rather than legal precedents either. But Sevier is not the kind of guy who would be deterred by the fact that he has no case – he has earlier sued an impressive number of people and organizations, including Bill O’Reilly, CBS, Facebook and, in particular, Apple because his Macbook allowed him to access porn on the Internet, turning him into an addict and ruining his marriage (a very interesting case; in fact, Sevier also sued for the right to marry said Macbook in an attempt to prove the absurdity of gay marriage, brilliantly failing to recognize the “consent” part of marriages). He has also been arrested for stalking a country singer.

Diagnosis: Total moron, though one suspects that his complaints may have won him some sympathy in certain quarters.