#1231: Doreen Virtue

Doreen Virtue is a Hay House guru and practitioner of Angel Therapy, and is as such one of only a few people that can “see” and “communicate” with angels, including the guardian angels that watch out over all of us – yes, it’s similar to the same kind of bullcrap pushed, famously, by princess Märtha of Norway, who appears to be a fan – but whereas Märtha tries to teach you how to get in contact with angels yourself Virtue talks to them on your behalf. For a reasonable fee, of course. And they really can help you. Once angels saved Virtue’s life when armed robbers tried to steal her car by telling her to scream, and she screamed. They also help find her a parking place when she is in a hurry.

According to her bio Virtue was a natural clairvoyant even as a child, “seeing and conversing with what many people call ‘invisible friends’ (which are really angels and deceased loved ones).” I am not completely sure that this needs further commentary, but the seemingly desperate attempt at rationalization evinced by the parenthesis is rather telling. Currently she usually refers to herself as “Doctor Virtue”, but her “PhD” is from California Coast University, an absolutely legendarily shoddy diploma mill, whose diplomas are worth precisely as much as your other regular spam.

Numerology

Virtue is also longtime student of numerology – very longtime, as she did, during a past life, study under Pythagoras himself. Numbers have special significance or vibrations or something, and numbers you see on clocks, license plates and the like are really messages from angels (“’Why do I always see the numbers 444 (or 111, 333, etc.) everywhere I go?’ is one of the most frequently asked questions that Doreen Virtue receives at her worldwide workshops”). Angels arrange for specific number sequences to appear around us or subtly “whisper in” our “ear” so we notice particular numbers, and if we keep noticing the same number sequences, it is because the angels are giving us a message through those numbers (not confirmation bias). But here is the clincher: We cannot interpret these messages unless Virtue shows us how, and she does this in the books you can buy (she’s written a stunning shitload of them) – she covered some numbers in Healing with Angels, but Angel Numbers provides an interpretation of more complex number sequences;” that “new book focuses on numbers such as 123, 337, 885, and so on.” She also has a special “Angel Number Calculator” for identifying your personal angel number. Dimly aware of potential conflicts between various forms of bullshit, she does have an FAQ showing how her nonsense is Christianity compatible.

According to Virtue, we’re all also alchemists, though it is not entirely clear what that is supposed to mean.

Healing

Apparently there is occasionally friction between the path that our guardian angel wants us to walk and the path we want to walk, and that manifests itself in a range of psychological and physical illnesses. And of course, Virtue can help “heal” the rift between you and your guardian angel, though the price is pretty steep. Fortunately, there are other “certified spiritual councilors” (CSC) and “angel therapy practitioners” (ATP) who have been certified by the American Board of Hypnotherapy – which is headed by Virtue. And yes, you can take courses and become a certified therapist, too. If you are really fortunate, perhaps you can get a session with Susan Stevenson, a hypnotherapist who practices past life regression therapy and sees angels absolutely everywhere.

Indigo children and their ken

We have mentioned indigo children and crystal children before, and Virtue is excited about them. So excited, in fact, that she has come up with her own designation, “rainbow children.” Since humans evolved from what Virtue calls “ape-like postures,” crystal children prove humanity can evolve further. “Evolution” here means not evolution, though, since it is God who is sending these various children as a gift to us. Like the indigos and crystals, the rainbows are highly sensitive and psychic, and often diagnosed as autistic, but they are really just communicating telepathically instead of using ordinary means. The spirit world told Virtue remarkable things about all these wonderful children while she was asleep, and she consequently published a lucrative, spiritually-informed book about them.

Her current husband, Steven Farmer, fancies himself a shaman of some sort and calls himself an expert in “power animals.” He also tends to refer to himself as “Doctor Farmer”, and his PhD is from Madison University, an unaccredited diploma mill located in Gulfport, Mississippi.

Diagnosis: I tend to be wary of using it, but it is hard to avoid the word “fraud” given, in particular, how she pushes her fake credentials. Virtue is still a loon, and a particularly insidious one, a parasite feeding on people in trouble or those who have experienced various kinds of psychological or existential crises. A disgusting excuse for a human being.