Mary Colbert is a fundie and self-declared prophet, and one of the central promoters of the genre of Trump-finds-God fan fiction; notably, she is co-author of the book (later movie) The Trump Prophecies with another self-declared prophet – a “firefighter prophet”, in fact – Mark Taylor (they later seem to have had a falling out of sorts); you’ll be hard pressed to find a more insane piece of dingbattery this side of the vanity press. In any case, Colbert claims that she had been supporting Ted Cruz during the 2016 primary until she came across a prophecy that Taylor claims to have received from God declaring that Trump would be president; “What I felt when I read the prophecy was like a Holy Ghost slap in my face,” said Colbert. She still needed confirmation directly from God, however, but that was easy: Colbert self-reportedly had a dream in which she was told to watch the Belmont Stakes horse race, and lo and behold, when she looked up the results, she saw the headline “Creator Wins By A Photo Finish.” (The dream was reported after the events, of course, because prophets who try to state their predictions before the fact tends to lose credibility, and she doesn’t want that.) “Now, you can’t make this stuff up,” said Colbert, so you better believe her. Among Colbert’s other prophecies is her 2017 prophecy that God will vindicate Roy Moore in the 2017 Alabama special election (apparently God told her “directly”).
Given that Trump is anointed and declared by God, opposing him is a sin. Colbert has warned people that God will curse Trump’s opponents, as well as their children and grandchildren. Protection through divine endorsement apparently extends to Colbert-approved self-declared prophets as well, including Jim Bakker, whom Colbert warned people not to mock because he is a prophet of God: “He’s a mouthpiece, he’s an oracle for God, so when he speaks and when he says something, you better listen because it’s true.” As evidence, Colbert cited the fact that Bakker has warned people to “prepare” and that we are currently “seeing catastrophe behind catastrophe”; Bakker is almost as precise and concrete as a glossy tabloid horoscope written by an intern.
She also defended Trump’s use of coarse language (e.g. ‘grab’), which in Colbert’s eyes made Trump like Jesus, who also used coarse language when he spoke to the Pharisees and Sadducees and said, ‘You vipers, you snakes’ (as for the ‘grab’ comment: Colbert asserted that Trump asked God for forgiveness over that one, in direct contradiction with Trump’s own statement on the matter). Moreover, when Trump calls people names, he’s acting just like Jesus, and you can’t take offense at it “because you don’t want to take offense to Jesus.” (Of course, that argument is not supposed to extend to people who call Trump names.) Here is Colbert’s response to some concerns some Christians have had over Trump: Trump’s border wall, for instance, is OK, according to Colbert, because “Heaven has gates”. Also remember that “the actual name ‘Donald’ means in Hebrew ‘national leader,’ so he is a national leader who is a trumpet for God.” ‘Donald’ is not a Hebrew name, of course, but hey: we are far beyond the point where “making things up as you go” is considered a problem here; Colbert has a long history of employing the “making things up as you go” technique (the legitimacy of the technique is apparently a prophetic superpower): Weighing in on the January 6 insurrection, for instance, Colbert baselessly claimed that the woman who was shot and killed while storming the Capitol was “killed not by capital police but by Vice President Biden’s security detail.”
As for climate change, Colbert blames Satan. That is, Satan is not causing climate change – Colbert is a climate change denialist – but is rather using the issue of climate change to distract humanity from the fact that the End Times are rapidly approaching. And it is sin, not climate change, that is causing extreme weather and natural disasters. Accordingly, what “man needs to do is repent”, though it is admittedly a bit unclear what repentance is supposed to achieve given that these are sign of an inevitable End Times. She also has views on the origin of Covid: according to Colbert, China caused coronavirus by eating ‘biblically unclean’ animals (like … pork?)
She is married to Don Colbert, with whom she runs a business called Divine Health in Florida and who is apparently also a prophet. That “health” part matters: Much of the pair’s work is devoted to pushing various types of insane woo, such as alkaline water.
Diagnosis: Calling her a ‘liar for Jesus’ seems to ascribe to her a level of mental acuity – being able, at a general level, to distinguish truth from falsehood – she simply doesn’t possess. She is probably just stupid and insane. Large swaths of people are attracted to that combo, however, so she’ll probably continue to have an audience.
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