Friday, April 15, 2011

192: Victoria Jackson

We have previously suggested that Ray Comfort is possibly the densest man on Earth. That was, of course, an exaggeration. The densest person on Earth is Victoria Jackson.

Victoria Jackson is a former semi-celebrity who is clinically unable to process information, distinguish an argument from a random string of letters (or none), reason, or string words together in a sentence expressing a coherent thought. For this reason she gets to write columns for Breitbart and the World Net Daily.

She is also an outspoken Glenn Beck groupie. Among the literary highlights of the lunacy movement must be counted Victoria Jackson’s report from the Glenn Beck rally. If you are only going to read one thing today, you will read this one (a selection with comments is here). She captures the mood perfectly:

“I wander the streets trying to catch a vibe. Is this our generation's Woodstock? I wish Bob Dylan would pop up and lead us in protest songs. He's got to "get it." I know lots of '60s hippies who have converted to Beckism. Social awareness is social awareness. No one comments on my Beck button. No pro or con. Maybe D.C. has gone Orwellian. Maybe they are actually afraid to think for themselves. They are afraid to have opinions. I start to feel like the Thought Police are following me.”

And for a taster of the deeply disturbed lunacy espoused by Jackson fluffy, feel-good, fire-and-brimstone fanatic conservatism:

“Glenn Beck is the only one telling us the truth. The media don't tell the truth. They didn't tell us that Obama was appointing communists like Van Jones and giving them positions of power. People we did not vote for. Strangely, Van Jones quietly disappeared when he was outed. The president is a communist! Communism hates Christianity.

[Jackson’s conversation partner] makes a patronizing face, "How do you know that?"

"His whole childhood was Marxism."

"Have you ever read Marx?" she says arrogantly.

"No. Oh, you're saying church people are stupid?"

"No..." The man with her looks embarrassed about our public quarrel.

"Communism doesn't work. It didn't work in Russia, or China, or Cuba ..."

"Marx had some good ideas. ..."

Her ignorance angers me. She is obviously one of the brainwashed 20-somethings who had liberalism shoved down their throats at university. The amount I've read of Marx is the amount she's read of the Bible. She is lost and very self-important about it.”

Even as a sitcom character, you wouldn’t have gotten away with Jackson’s level of fail. Watch her create a black hole in reason with Steve Doocy here. Until her 40s, however, her lack of intelligence prevented her from doing much harm: “I didn't vote for anyone. I didn't know how. I didn't know where to go. I never saw a sign that said, "Vote Here." I didn't know how to "register" or even that I had to register. I didn't know what the candidates stood for or how to find out. Word of mouth I guess, but no one I hung out with talked about politics, ever.”

She voted in 2000, though, and according to herself: “I voted Clinton out. My vote counted. Bush won.”

But the nice thing about Jackson is that whenever you think she has reached the peak of human stupidity, she delivers something that reaches a whole new level. You can also read her explain why Rahm Emanuel is the devil here. Or check out this rather revealing interview.

Among her many gems and insights, however, this may just be the pinnacle. This is where you find the gem: “I took my beautiful fake nails out to my car and drove to the car wash. Hard working, friendly Mexicans made it shiny. I don't know if they were legal or illegal. I love everyone, but I think rules should be followed. Why can't they be legal? Is it difficult?” But do read the whole thing.

Quite simply breathtaking.

Diagnosis: Victoria Jackson’s lack of intellect must violate some law of nature. It just cannot be humanly possible to reach this level of clinical moronity. If she were actually to become influential, it wouldn't make much difference – in that case the world would have been irrevocably lost long ago anyway.


  1. Here's Victoria Jackson visiting the Occupy Wall Street Protests. Stupidity ensues.

  2. As expected, Victoria Jackson's self-awareness may be somewhat less than impressive.

  3. Jackson has suggested running for office. One suspects it will force those who think Sarah Palin is stupid to get things in the proper perspective.