Tuesday, May 22, 2012

#332: Gene Ray


Gene Ray is a legend. He is clearly not entirely stable, but is such a prominent feature on the Internet that he must be included here. He is most famous for inventing the Time Cube Theory, and even put up the legendary Time Cube website back in 1997.

What is the time cube theory? It is a little hard to say, but it has something to do with the world passing through four simultaneous days in the course of a day. The reason we don’t believe Ray is correct, is because our educational system is a conspiracy to make us stupid. Ray knows. He is the wisest person in the universe – at least he repeatedly asserts so on his websites and when “explaining” the hypothesis (often instead of explaining the hypothesis, in fact). Let’s give it a shot: time is cubic. The fundamental observation is that the Earth has four corners that sweep through four simultaneous days, defined as "sun up" (representing “the indian race”), "midday" (representing “the white race”), "sun down" (representing “the asian race”) and "midnight" (representing “the black race”). The midday and midnight are known as the "major" time points, while sun up and sun down are the "minor" time points, created where the major opposing forces meet. These points are occupied by Socrates, Jesus, Einstein and Clinton. Ray also seems to claim that the opposite hemispheres of the Earth are rotating in opposite directions (which is an interesting claim, though not because it is likely to be true). The opposition between them accordingly entails “zero existence”.

Ray has offered $10,000 to anyone who can prove that his hypothesis is false. Insofar as his hypothesis is premised on the assumption that all of science, math, logic, and empirical observation are false, this may be difficult. More here. More on Gene Ray himself here.

He also runs the websites AboveGod, Thegreatestthinker and Thewisesthuman.

Selected quotes (verbatim):
-“-1 x -1 = +1 is stupid and evil.”
-“Tis Time to kill any educator who does not teach Cubicism above cubelessness. ... It is not immoral for students to kill all educators who ignore Nature's Harmonic Time Cube or suppress free speech rights to debate Time Cube Creation Principle.”
-“There is "absolute proof" that You are personified pyramid.”
-“TimeCube is above God. God is ignorance. You may be academically retarded.”
-“ONEism is demonic Death Math.”
-“The academia created 1 day greenwich time is bastardly queer and dooms future youth and nature to a hell.”
-“If the 4 racial components of 2 sex pole hemispheres agreed to a cubing of the sphere as a spiritual unity, heavenly music of cubed sphere could be audible on Earth simultaneously to every human ear, not discord, but harmony”.
-“Man evolves from teenager - in cube metamorphosis but ignores teenager to worship a male mother, guised in woman's garb, churchman called father. Adult god is adult crime 
upon their own children. More holocaust deserved!
-“I AM WISER THAN ANY DAMN MAN OR GOD WHO EVER EXISTED. IF THE HALF AND HALF CO-CREATED JESUS RETURNS TO EARTH, I WILL PERSONALLY KILL THE BASTARD MYSELF. ALL CREATION OCCURS BETWEEN AND AS OPPOSITES. YOU DUMB-ASS, EARTH, THE UNIVERSE
AND EVERY LIVING THING IN IT”

You get the gist. If you visit his websites you’ll see i) that every sentence is like the selected quotes, and ii) some rather striking color and font schemes.

Another claim to notability is that Gene Ray may in fact be the one existing counterexample to the stopped clock phenomenon. None of the few sentences on his website that are at all intelligible on the website appear to be remotely sensible.

Diagnosis: Although Ray is often described at the craziest guy on the Internet (no mean feat), one sometimes gets the uncanny feeling that he is more self-aware than he lets on, and that he takes some delight in it. In any case he’s probably harmless.

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