Monday, April 11, 2016

#1641: Zen Gardner

Zen Gardner – we don’t know if it is a name or a pseudonym – runs the New Age conspiracy webpage of the same name, where he is JAQing off (it’s actually pretty assertive even by the standards of conspiracy theory JAQing offs) about any and all phenomena that could be used to spawn conspiracy theories, which are subsequenty infused with a colorful mass of New Age fluff and pseudoscience. He covers an impressive range of topics, but as a (not particularly bad or good) example you could look up this article about the dangers of “diabolical microwaves”, such as cell phones and wi-fi: “While they [us, the fools] make light of these death-dealing devices and pretend they’re innocuous, the unwitting sheeple wither and die from mutated brain cells, injured immune and nervous systems, organ damage, and our children are predicted to have genetically altered offspring within 2 generations!” According to Gardner and the “research” he has collected from various conspiracy websites, pseudoscientists and his own fertile imagination – as well as some quote-mining – “[c]hronic exposure to even low-level radiation (like that from cell phones), can cause a variety of cancers, impair immunity, and contribute to Alzheimer’s disease and dementia, heart disease, and many other ailments.” (No actual scientific research here, of course – proper methodology and data gathering wouldn’t really support the claims, you know). But not only is the science wrong and exposure to low-level radiation dangerous; there are nefarious motives at play: The industry “didn’t have to use these damaging frequencies – they CHOSE to”. It’s all a conspiracy to … achieve mind control, facilitated by the American military, who discovered that “low-level microwaves were the perfect stealth weapon to be used on dissident groups around the world, because you could make dissident groups sick, give them cancer, change their mental outlook on life without them even knowing they were being radiated.” At least he’s forthcoming about showing us what we are dealing with here.

A quick browse through his site reveals e.g. the following:
-       The 2015 floods of the South Eastern US? It was all engineered by the guv’mint; the evidence consists mostly of asserting that it was, as well as looking at meteorological maps that look strange to Gardner’s untrained eyes (“does this precipitation map look natural to you?”). As is global climate change.
-       In “Aluminum and the slave race of the Matrix” we are told that we are being sprayed with aluminum through chemtrails because aluminum “is a prime receiver for electromagnetic signals from information technology;” the “ruling elite” is doing this to create a slave race whose minds they can control by cell phones and wi-fi.
-       Not surprisingly, vaccines are part of the agenda (a “holocaust in slow motion”). Not only are we being forced to receive them; the government gives them to us without our knowledge through genetically modified foods (another major target for Gardner’s rants). All to achieve mind control. After all, most of the diseases against which we are vaccinated are manufactured by the government aswell (that article is written by Sarah Stone, Jim Stone, and Russ Clarke – I have no idea and don’t care). What else do you think was the point of engineering those diseases if not to force us to be vaccinated?
-       Though most science is fraud, astrology is actually real science, presumably because it is done by independents not corrupted by mind-controlled academia which has been folled into valuing irrelevant things like evidence, reason and knowledge.
-       9/11 was a conspiracy (a “trauma-based mass mind control ritual”); no plane hit the Pentagon, and Mossad was behind the whole thing (it “can’t be deniedbecause one Rebekah Roth claims so in a book.
-       Aliens are everywhere. The Nazis (from “a secret NAZI breakaway civilization” ostensibly on the Moon) have infiltrated the US secret space program, and they are now setting up corporate bases and slave labor camps on Mars and elsewhere. Here is some very, very secret information on aliens and the largest Reptilian and Grey Alien base in America (oh, yeah), revealed by an anonymous scientist “now in hiding” (possibly the same one who according to my spam folder discovered the cure for diabetis and is now hiding from Big Pharma?)
According to his bio, Gardner’s “focus is empowering humanity to reach its full potential in conscious awareness and its resultant activation. He writes on a variety of subjects from forbidden knowledge and our manipulated spiritual and historical context, to current political events, in an effort to dismantle old mind sets in order to encourage the awakening of human consciousness and bring meaningful change to a world that’s under full frontal attack by powers that seek to deny humanity its health, freedom and ultimate discovery of who they truly are.” Rather standard fare, you might say, but to Gardner thinks his noble goals allow him to dismiss skeptics and critics and “this hyper critical, deeply cynical attitude that seems to be infecting the research community,” which seems to be in notorious disagreement with Zen Gardner on absolutely everything because they are, in fact, psy-ops controlled by the Powers that Be to undermine people like him and bring us all to “the ultimate dream state the THEY work hard to lull us into.” (Who has a cynical attitude again?) It’s actually a neat trick for avoiding having to actually deal with the evidence against his views or worry too much about avoiding the standard pitfalls of poor critical thinking skills. Reason, evidence, accountability and critical thinking are for the closed of mind, not for enlightened messiahs like Gardner and his sycophants, and reason, evidence, accountability and critical thinking are just weapons the powers of evil use in their war on those, like Gardner, who have discovered how to free his mind of all vestiges of accountability or sensitivity to facts. The rest of us are mind-controlled slaves, and that Gardner has discovered this to be the case means that he must not only be i) right, but also ii) an exception to the mind control scheme that has enslaved the rest of us, one who has managed to free himself by opening his mind.

Of course, Gardner isn’t only under the illusion that he’s right; he also thinks he’s winning “I still think the vibrational changes and all the awakened are doing and the full on exposure of the western/Israeli insanity is having a very real effect and profoundly wearing on the collective.”

Diagnosis: So, compared to the relatively modest influence of Gardner’s efforts this entry is on the long side. But he really is very silly. Of course, he also has a non-modest view of his own importance, and the combination of smugness and delirious paranoia is as charming as ever.


  1. Zen Gardner, aka Don Ferguson, is the more "evolved" persona of a longtime disciple of David Brandt Berg, aka Moses David, founder of the infamous Children of God/Family International. Berg, who curiously is not listed in your Encyclopedia, deserves a special shout-out for starting out Zen-Bob along the rocky road to lunacy.

    1. Thanks for the connection. Berg isn't here since he's been dead for a while; I try to restrict myself to the living (some have passed away after the entries were written, though, and sometimes someone recently deceased might slip through).