#1843: Curtis Knapp

Curtis Knapp is the pastor of New Hope Baptist Church in Seneca, Kansas, and he thinks the government should kill homosexuals. Quoting Scripture, Knapp said in 2012 that homosexuals “should be put to death. That’s what happened in Israel. That’s why homosexuality wouldn’t have grown in Israel. It tends to limit conversations. It tends to limit people coming out of the closet.” Being a sensible man, however, Knapp didn’t think you should just start going around killing gays: “‘So, you’re saying we should go out and start killing them?’ No. I’m saying the government should. They won’t, but they should.” When confronted with his claims, Knapp pointed out that “We punish pedophilia. We punish incest, we punish polygamy and various things. It’s only homosexuality that is lifted out as an exemption.” Ah, distinctions. How the f*** do they work?

Diagnosis: No, Fred Phelps isn’t alone. Curtis Knapp has all of Phelps’s charisma and reasoning skills – and probably not much less impact.

#1842: Charles Klotsche

Color therapy was, by 1993, apparently “a new dimension in holistic healing,” which “provides a powerful technique for treating specific imbalances and strengthening the immune system.” Most people who are not medically illiterate will of course know that “strengthening the immune system” is code for “nonsense” (for obvious reasons), but color medicine was probably never intended for the medically literate (medicine it isn’t) – or, in general, the minimally literate. So, for instance, in Charles Klotsche’s 1993 book Color Medicine: The Secrets of Color Vibrational Healing, by “combining aura-attuned chromatherapy with harmonious sounds, tissue salts, and hydrochromatherapy, the 49th vibrational technique was developed. It is safe, simple, economical, and highly effective.” Yeah, as a description it might just be too inane to even count as technobabble; “word salad” seems more apt. An interesting detail about Klotsche’s description is his desire to describe the technique as simultaneously new and revolutionary, and ancient as rocks (too tempting a fallacy for most altmed promoters). So, color therapy is “[a] breakthrough, yet as old as recorded medicine.”

How does it work (apart from not)? “Color Medicine utilizes the subtle energy vibrations similar to those found in the visible spectrum – the 49th octave. Light energy is processed through color filters and irradiated into the aura. By matching corresponding wavelengths to the organs and systems of the body, it strengthens or sedates energy in the distressed areas, creating a support system for the healing process.” Critics may point out that there are some crucial details missing here (“matching corresponding wavelengths” [my emphasis]; the difference between “strengthen[ing]” and “sedat[ing]” energy that by the author’s own descriptions cannot be measured, and so on). Nevertheless, Klotsche’s book is a “textbook and how-to handbook, it encompasses an encyclopedia of vital, fascinating information, charts, diagrams, and tables, as well as methods of treatment and technical advice.” Wanna bet on whether Klotsche’s “information, charts, diagrams, and tables” address the worries just raised anywhere?

In more detail, the information in the book covers the following topics:

- Explore the electromagnetic effects on physical/etheric bodies.

- Recognizing the aura: color meanings and tonal equivalents.

- Adjusting the body’s oscillations by sound [how does your body oscillate? Ever thought about that?]

- Effects of monochord/color and rhythm on the body.

-  Interplay between music and the chakra system. [Ah, yes: There we are.]

- Biochemical system’s [sic] dependency on light.

- Materials and practical techniques.

- 123 major illnesses and their treatments.

Oh, well. We struggle to locate much more information about Klotsche, apart from the title of a later book, Journeys: Self-Discovery Through Travel – assuming it’s the same guy.

Diagnosis: It’s always hard to determine the extent to which promoters of this kind of bullshit actually believe the drivel they’re spewing. Assuming he does, Klotsche is an extreme religious fanatic and should probably be avoided unless you think you can help.

#1841: Ken Klein

Ken Klein is an author (America, Globalism and the False Prophet), filmmaker and former NFL defensive back, and apparently not a POE. According to the WND – who is no more trustworthy than spam on these matters – Klein has “stunned viewers” with his DVD Trans-Humanism: Destroying the Barriers. Whatever he claimed in that one (and all evidence suggests that it can’t have been remotely related to anything reasonable), it probably doesn’t begin to compare to his next big report: That “fallen angels exist, are on Earth, and have been filmed …” Indeed. “It’s not a joke,” said Klein, in case anyone thought otherwise: “We have filmed these things in the infrared spectrum, and it’s really real, and it’s really happening on this planet, and it’s getting worse and worse,” he said. “Really real” is a common phrase used to emphasize your conclusions when your evidence is really good.

Apparently these fallen angels are visible in the infrared spectrum, and if you had doubts: “These are those angels that once followed Lucifer, who were deceived, woo’d by him with a great sales pitch, and as a result of that war God decided that he would have to be thrown out of his angelship. And he was thrown into this world, and he’s got billions of followers that are assigned to humanity – some to each human – to monitor each one of us, because each one of us is a potential threat. We shall be called children of God and he hates that because he’s been judged, and he’s not a happy camper.” He didn’t elaborate on the means he used to obtain the backstories of the demons he saw.

Oh, but he’s got more: “Jesus’ physical body had to be tailor-made through the development of generations of specific genes that would pass down to Mary and allow for the Immaculate Conception. It wasn’t just any body that the Spirit of God could dwell in. And so Jesus body came through a very specific line of predecessors. The integrity of His physical DNA was managed through the purity of a specific line of people all the way back to Adam […] I think we can expect the same thing to happen with the body that Lucifer will have to take, because we know that there will be an Antichrist who will be the embodiment of the spirit of Lucifer, who was an archangel. It can’t just be any body; it’s going to have to be an engineered body,” asserted Klein. And you see “Now we have the science to merge all kinds of brilliant scientists and thinkers into a genetic soup that could bring forth a superior intelligence [remember he made a DVD about transhumanism? You probably don’t need to watch it] – and not only that, but a superior body – that could house the spirit of Lucifer.” In other words, technology will unveil “a body that could house the spirit of Satan.” And thus it is that any true believer should beware of science. (At least Lucifer cannot be Obama, so that’s something.)

Klein was also interviewed for Brian Kraft’s The Fall of America and the Western World. His website is here. We are not sure whether he himself classifies the other books and DVDs he sells as fiction or documentaries. These include

- A DVD about the Harlot of Babylon, the identity of which can apparently be revealed by code breaking Revelation 17 (apparently there’s a yuge conspiracy, too).

- “Israel Islam and Armageddon,” a video showing “how the current peace process is fraught with peril, why it is impossible for Jerusalem to know true peace in our age how the Antichrist will lead the world’s armies to destroy Israel, the truth about the Vatican’s intentions, and the Palestinian myth.” Allegedly, the video “powerfully corrects” much of the “misinformation and propaganda” aggressively “advanced by the world media and others.”

He calls his youtube channel “Ken Klein University,” which doesn’t need a comment.

Diagnosis: You can do this one yourself, folks.

#1840: Jason Kissner

Jason Kissner is a criminologist and birther who has made his presence well known on various conspiracy websites with his apparently unique take on the birther conspiracy: Kissner claims that Obama is really Indonesian and (of course) a Muslim. In fact, Obama is apparently the son of a cult leader, one Mohammed Subud, since Obama and Sudub, according to conspiracy theorists, look kind of similar in pictures (that they admit to have modified to make the resemblance more obvious to the untrained eye). Kissner has written about these issues for the interestingly named (a corollary of this) website American Thinker; you can find his critical thinking trainwreck about Obama here; it’s rather hilarious.

In addition to his birther stuff, Kissner has made himself known with his Ebola conspiracies – a topic that seems to have generated a whole conspiracy industry back in 2014. According to Kissner, the 2013 outbreak was apparently due to a bioengineered variant of Ebola that is more contagious than previous strains. His evidence is simply an argument from incredulity, based on the fact that Ebola reemerged after being dormant for years and that the Zaire strain that appeared in West Africa is a distinct strain, which Kissner cannot imagine could have happened without human intervention. Kissner is not an epidemiologist. That’s to put things diplomatically. In any case, Kissner concludes that US bioterrorism must have introduced this “new” Ebola strain to Guinea. Why? Well, it has to do with the Ebola drug ZMapp; according to Kissner, the developers of ZMapp must have known about the new strain beforehand. Once again, Kissner is no epidemiologist and really doesn’t appear to have the faintest clue how these things work. More elaborate discussion here. 

Diagnosis: Hilarious nonsense, and one does sometimes suspect he’s a poe. But when you consider what this kind of thinking has managed to lead to by 2017, it does admittedly become a bit less funny.

#1839: John Kirkwood

Richard King, a central proponent of the the magic melanin theory who, because he viewed melanin as a necessary component of humanity, preferred to use term “hueman” rather than “human” to describe white people, has apparently passed away.

John Kirkwood, however, is still very much a Chicago pastor, (sigh) rabid anti-gay activist and co-host of the radio show Americans For Truth About Homosexuality Radio Hour, which – by extension of Badger’s Law – has nothing to do with truth. (AFTAH is Peter LaBarbera’s group). According to Kirkwood, gays and lesbians are like heroin users, and supporting gay rights is similar to encouraging a drug addict. In an interview with LaBarbera Kirkwood also attacked “the Lady Gaga theology that you were born that way,” pointing out that those who believe such things are “rejecting Kirkwood God” and “disagreeing with him rejecting the Bible.” (Obama, for instance.) Indeed, gay Christians are “satanically inspired,” according to Kirkwood, though for a rabid fundie like Kirkwood “x is satanically inspired” is just a substitute “I don’t fancy x.”

And of course, the gays are bringing America down. In fact, the “homosexual movement” is the “greatest threat to freedom” in the US, as far as Kirkwood is concerned; homosexuality “is a super sin because it reaches far beyond the bounds of what happens between two men or two women in their bedroom, it’s crushing our Constitution and it’s stripping us of our religious freedom, that sounds pretty super to me.” We are not entirely sure what the details and tacit premises of that inference are supposed to be, and suspect Kirkwood isn’t either. Regarding some openly LGBT judges in Cook County (“the adulterous judges of Cook County”), Kirkwood claimed that we “were better off when the Mafia ran Illinois because they were interested in making a profit, not making some kind of political statement that is totally abhorrent.” Of course, Kirkwood is officially very tired of the sexualization of America, even in the same paragraph where he states that Michael Sam’s “penchant for penis” is no cause for celebration. Hint: It’s not Michale Sam who is sexualizing this, John.

Diagnosis: It is hard to avoid concluding that Kirkwood is ... well, extremely interested in and focused on gay sex. In addition to being a hateful fundie bigot, of course.