#350: William Schnoebelen

A.k.a. Christopher Syn (name taken in the 1970s for numerological reasons)

William Schnoebelen is an evangelist, author (sometimes with his wife Sharon) and lecturer, known for his anti-Mormon, anti-masonic (yes) and anti-Wiccan views and for his fundamentalist Protestant viewpoint. His views are slightly more insane than Jack Chick’s (Schnoebelen is published by Chick Publications), and possibly only challenged by Gene Ray. He currently runs his own organization With One Accord Ministries (website here). His antipathy toward the organizations mentioned above can partially be explained by the fact that he is, in fact, himself a former Mormon and wiccan, as well as a Gnostic Bishop with the Monastery of the Seven Rays, voodoo priest, and member of the Church of Satan. He claims to have reached a high rank with the Freemason (reaching “Palladium Masonry”, which is a well-known hoax and doesn’t exist), and to have been part of the Illuminati (he has published the video “Exposing the Illuminati from within”: two parts, here and here. You get an idea of where he comes from.

To top it, Schnoebelen claims to have been a practicing vampire from 1979, and has released a nine-hour DVD program titled “Interview with an Ex-Vampire: A True Story” (hosted by one Stephanie Relfe, who provides a biography of Schnoebelen here), although there is ample evidence that Schnoebelen doesn’t quite know what “True Story” means. Unfortunately his vampire activities came to an end (he was also a practicing sorcerer) in 1980 when he failed a saving throw against an evangelical bank clerk who promised to “be praying for you in Jesus’ name,” was turned, and subsequently lost all his magical powers. He doesn’t like D&D, by the way (more on that below), and there is probably a connection here.

According to none other than Schnoebelen, part of Schnoebelen’s spiritual education was extra-terrestrial, apparently.

Sort of to complete the circle, he also has an “N.D. degree” from Trinity College of Natural Healing in Indiana, and is also certified by the Certified Natural Health Professionals organization in Warsaw, IN. His whale.to profile is here.

Among Schnoebelen’s numerous books are “Masonry: Beyond the Light”, which exposes the freemasons as Satanists; “Wicca: Satan’s little white lie”, which exposes Wiccans as Satanists; “Mormonism’s Temple of Doom’, which exposes Mormons as Satanists, and “Blood on the Doorpost”; which tells you how to conquer the Satanism in your life and achieve success through the power of the Law of Attraction and The Secret (yes, that The Secret). He may be most famous for his attacks on Mormonism, however, since some Mormon responders actually took it as a serious threat. Together with one Ed Decker Schnoebelen raised concerns about, among other things, the spires on Mormon temples, claiming that they were really “Satan's spires” and represented “an up-side-down nail pointing defiantly toward heaven, as if to impale the Lord Jesus Christ anew when he comes in the clouds” and that because of “the trapezoidal shape” of the spires they “draw demons like fly paper”.

Besides such high-flown theology, Schnoebelen’s book “Space Invaders” is about UFOs and seems to assume that the eponymous Arcade game is a real-life documentary (“Bill shows how the "cute little space aliens" have their roots in the rituals of such black magicians as Aleister Crowley” and “reveals how flying saucers and ‘alien abductions’ may well figure into the end-time plans of the Beast. Drawing on Genesis 6”). Schnoebelen knows, since Schnoebelen has been a vampire. What more expertise in magic and the occult do you need?

He is no fan of Harry Potter, and produced a video “Harry Potter: Politically Correct Paganism” with Jan Markell (already covered) and one Wendell Amstutz. Neither is he a fan of Dungeons and Dragons, which involves evil, brainwashing (“Erosion of family values – the Dungeon Master (DM) demands an all-encompassing and total loyalty, control and allegiance”), real sorcery, Satanism, immorality (“male characters in the game often try to seduce female characters”) and – worst of all – science (“In this worldview, there is no sovereign God; but rather the universe is run like a gigantic piece of machinery”). Updated here.

Diagnosis: Clinically unable to distinguish imagination and reality (preciously few of his claims about his own past have been substantiated) the amazing Bill Schnoebelen is one of a kind. He’s probably harmless.

#349: Don Schmierer

Don Schmierer is an insanely lunatic and thoroughly evil person. Together with Scott Lively and Caleb Lee Brundidge, Schmierer participated in a 2009 workshop in Kampala to, pretty much, provide the architecture for the Ugandan anti-gay bill (discussed here). Schmierer is a board member of Exodus International, an organzation devoted to promoting “freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus Christ”. After the law passed in Uganda and brought about some horrible deaths Schmierer said he felt “duped”, arguing that he had been invited to speak on “parenting skills” for families with gay children and that, although he claimed homosexuals could be converted into heterosexuals, he had no idea some Ugandans were contemplating the death penalty for homosexuality.

There are reasons to think Don is not as stupid as he claims he is, and even if he were he would nevertheless be responsible.

It is telling that he mentioned receiving threats and more than 600 hate mails related to his visit: “I spoke to help people,” he said, “and I’m getting bludgeoned from one end to the other.” No, Don. You are not the victim here, and you don’t get to claim that you are.

Diagnosis: Vile loon who should be charged with crimes against humanity; he is a representative for a very dangerous trend: extremist religious organizations who, unable to establish theocracy or use violence against those they dislike in the US, targets Africa instead – and are extremely successful at it. Exodus (headed by one Alan Chambers) is one such organization.

#348: Debbie Schlussel

Debbie Schlussel is another rightwing columnist and blogger. She has done some right stuff, in fact, such as looking into Sean Hannity’s “charity work”, but that doesn’t alter the overall assessment. Her main focus is targeting what she regards as negative elements of American Islamic society. That means, in general, typical wingnut populist idiocy and deliberate misinformation. See here - Schlussel responded to this one by calling Mediamatters “far left”. The idea that this counts as a response tells you a lot about what kind of approach Schlussel takes to reality. She also compared them to Nazis (in particular, for some arbitrary but predictable reason, George Soros). In 2010 she claimed that the new Miss USA, Rima Fakih, was a terrorist because she was of Lebanese descent. Her sources were apparently the voices in her head. In 2007 also complained that atheists targeted her for, uh, blatant racism; she argued that this was natural, however, since atheists are Muslim-lovers and most of them will, in a few years, be fanatic Islamists. She also blamed the Virginia Tech shootings on the Muslims, of course, so it comes as no surprise when she voices her shock and horror that Whole Foods actually sells food to Muslims. In a civilized society they would be indicted for supporting terrorism!

To take a few more examples: Schlussel has also claimed that it was OK for the Europeans to take the US from the Natives because, well, because the Natives were also immigrants some twenty thousand years ago, and she is adamant that “freedom of religion” does not mean or encompass “freedom from religion”. During the captivity of American journalist Jill Carroll, Schlussel claimed that Carroll hated Israel and America, implying that she sympathized with her captors and explicitly calling those who disagreed with her “blind worshippers of Jill Carroll”. In 2007, she asserted that WNBA player Anna DeForge is a bad role model because she is a lesbian, and in 2011 she stirred up some dissatisfaction by suggesting that CBS reporter Lara Logan deserved the sexual assault she suffered while covering the protests in Egypt. There is a pattern here.

Diagnosis: Described as “Ann Coulter without the charm”, Schlussel is a deranged dimwit and some may suspect truly mentally ill; she is still pretty dangerous, however.

#347: Phyllis Schlafly

The item that spawned Andy Schlafly is known for “defending […]the real rights of women. A woman should have the right to be in the home as a wife and mother.” She is the founder and head of the extremist rightwing, creationist, antivaxx, dominionist group the Eagle Forum (this one on the connection between nazism and the welfare state, is particularly pertinent), and described by her neighbor as “an exponent of an extreme right-wing philosophy – a propagandist who deals in emotion and personalities where it is not necessary to establish facts or prove charges.”

Schlafly’s work was pivotal in the victory of the “pro-family” movement over the Equal Rights Amendment, which according to her would have led to “homosexual schoolteachers and unisex bathrooms” as well as many other ills. For instance, she laments the loss of “real men” who went to war to save damsels in distress, men like the draft dodging wife beater John Wayne.

Schlafly, the heroine of the Values Voter Debate, is a published author of nine books, three-time candidate for the U.S. Congress, a full-time law student at Washington University in St. Louis, editor of a monthly newsletter, a twice-a-week syndicated newspaper columnist, regular speaker at anti-liberal rallies, and employs a full-time housekeeper to take care of her mansion – in other words, she follows her anti-emancipatory arguments and consistently claims that women should stay at home as the Bible requires, by setting a splendid example. Like her son Andy, Phyllis generally use “liberal” and “feminist” pejoratively, usually in connection with things she doesn’t like but haven’t really thought about and is pathologically clueless about (for instance this or this). Like her offspring, Phyllis is also an avid conspiracy theorist. In her book “A Choice, Not An Echo” she claimed that a liberal conspiracy of “kingmakers” led by the Bilderberg group had control over the Republican Party presidential nominating process and kept real conservatives from getting the nomination. She still peddles some predictable conspiracy theories. She is, of course, also a creationist, and claims that she is persecuted for it (yes, it is backed up by the most outrageous lies, as expected); her writings on creationism have been endorsed by Jack Kemp and David Horowitz, among others.

The reputation of Washington University in St. Louis was forever tarnished in 2008 when some babbling idiots decided it was appropriate to award Phyllis Schlafly with an honorary degree - especially given Schlafly’s views on public education. You can see a conversation between her and Christian reconstructionist filmmaker E. Ray Moore, who thinks parents are mandated by the Bible to homeschool their children since public schools are “godless and pagan by precept and design” and that there should be “God in the math class and in the science class as much as in the Bible class,” here.

Michele Bachmann has called Phyllis Schlafly the most important woman in US history the last 100 years, and calls Schlafly her mentor. Tells you lot about both, really.

Diagnosis: Although she is an irrevocably insane (and probably undead) dimbulb, Schlafly has done some real harm and her influence should not be underestimated. The Eagle Forum remains a relatively powerful organization.

This site (http://www.theocracywatch.org/) is useful for information on the Eagle Forum (among other things).

#346: Andy Schlafly

We won’t describe the antics of Andrew Layton Schlafly in too much detail; there is simply too much to mention (do check out the Lenski affair, though), and he has an extensive biography here (or here, for one that sacrifices accuracy in favor of non-offensiveness). Schlafly is a blogger, conservative conspiracy theorist and – most famously – the owner of Conservapedia (famously described by his mother Phyllis: “He has started this thing on the Internet. I don't know what to call it.” Indeed). Schlafly is known to be currently undefeated in any debate due to his deployment of the Schlafly Reversal, the Schlafly Stretch, the Schlafly Rearguard, the Schlafly Slip, Schlafly Statistics, and the fact that he can just ban anyone who disagrees with him from his site. As Richard Carnes aptly put it “... arguing with Andy is like playing chess with a small child who doesn't know the rules”.

Schlafly is also general counsel to the wingnut quack-organization Association of AmericanPhysicians and Surgeons (not to be confused with the American Medical Association).

He is, of course, a Young Earth Creationist located somewhere around Ray Comfort and Linda Kimball. Combining his creationism, crackpottery, wingnuttery, American Exceptionalism, endorsement of theocracy, Taliban fundamentalism, extreme conspiracy theory adherence, racism, misogyny, self-aggrandizing delusions (he purports to have superior expertise in, among other things, anthropology, astronomy, biblical scholarship and translation, the entertainment industry, microbiology, nutrition, oncology, psychiatry, mathematics, relativity, statistics, and world history) and general bigotry, he eventually launched the still dimmest, most powerful black hole of insanity (and bigotry) on the Internet (yes, Schlafly wins that one; no mean feat): Conservapedia (whale.to isn’t even in the running for that one).

Constructed to rectify the liberal bias of Wikipedia, Conservapedia (Newcomers’ guide here) is governed not by the definitional schema “x is liberal, hence x is evil”, but by “x is evil, hence x is liberal”, and the law that anything Schlafly does not particularly fancy is dismissed as “liberal evolutionist abortionist claptrap” (such as the idea that the Greek wrote comedies (disproven by the fact that humor cannot exist without Christianity) or that anything “useful has ever been built based on the theory of relativity” – in fact, relativity is a liberal plot). Conservapedia is constructed to meet the educational needs of homeschoolers, and Schlafly offers courses on selected scientific topics for homeschooled kids. He considers Conservapedia to be one of the greatest achievements throughout history (special mention goes to one of the most active sysops, the Unification Church member Ed Poor, who must rank as one of the most incompetent human beings ever to have walked the earth).

Understandably, he is openly contemptuous of credentialed experts, especially when they disagree with his uncited assertions – much is summed up by his slogan “Don't read a book to learn, write a book to learn”. He has also suggested that editing Conservapedia is a better way to learn than “reading a book, attending a seminar, ... discussing with people” (“Most books (other than the Bible) are liberal claptrap”) and that “[i]n merely a few spare minutes or hours, the participants in The Conservative Bible Project have learned more than they could have after spending 10x or 100x many hours in any other medium”.

… yes, the Conservapedia Bible Project, the purpose of which is to purge the Bible of liberal bias. You’ll have to read about it for yourself. Words fail.

A “Best of Conservapedia” list is here. One among innumerable favorites: “Atheistic theories of the origin of the Moon, widely taught for decades despite lacking the falsifiability requirement of science (see Philosophy of science), have been proven false”. For regular updates on the activities on Conservapedia, you can visit this one (or for updates on Conservapedia in the news, this one).

Diagnosis: ”Obviously many people refuse to read the Bible and thus miss out on the benefit of its foreknowledge. Had scientists carefully studied the walking on water with an open mind, then it may not have taken 1900 years before they recognized the existence of wave-particle duality. Ditto for many other phenomena.” [A. Schlafly] 

(Roger “I suspect that high empathy measurements are correlated with an assortment of psychological problems” Schlafly is Andrew Schlafly’s older brother and has established his own credentials as a conservative activist with interminable lack of insight (see his take on the Violence against Women Act here. He is usually considered to be Andy’s saner counterpart, but Roger’s alleged sanity is visible only when compared to his brother (or mother). He does not deserve his own entry, however.)

#345: Lynette Schaefer

I am not sure who Lynette Schaefer really is (hence the lack of a proper photo), but the people at RaptureReady endorse her writings – they give no real bio, but point out that she is an avid Bible reader and born again evangelical.

At least Schaefer weighs in on important topics we have not covered in sufficient detail thus far. For instance, she dares ask the pertinent question “Should Christians Wear Tattoos?” Well, guess what: even if you honestly believe you are “tattooing for Jesus” you are being deceived. And Schaefer tells you what tattooing really is, claiming for instance that “[s]tudies have also been done that link tattoos to homosexuality, lesbianism, and gross sexual perversion” (she doesn’t provide the sources, though). No wonder, since tattoos are signs of “paganism, demonism, Baal worship, shamanism, mysticism, heathenism, cannibalism and many other pagan beliefs". In fact, Lynette really thinks they are genuinely magical. Remember also: “Who really is the Master Tattooist?  Satan, of course!” Wonder what she’d say about this one.

Diagnosis: It’s good that someone takes issue with the things that really matter, those small everyday things we usually don’t think twice about but which could still become objects of obsessive lunacy. Schaefer is probably harmless, though.

#344: Rick Scarborough

Since the completely delusional Jonathan Sarfati, famous for his attempt at grounding logic in the Bible, hails from New Zealand, we jump right to another central force in the lunacy movement.

Rick Scarborough is a former Southern Baptist and head of Vision America, Vision America Action and the Judeo-Christian Council for Constitutional Restoration. Scarborough believes that the tenets of fundamentalist Christian morality apply to all civic affairs, and says: “I'm not a Democrat, I'm not a Republican. I'm a Christocrat”. Tom DeLay counts Scarborough as one of his closest friends, though Scarborough has been caught working closely with Alan Keyes as well – the purpose is of course to establish a theocracy by any means possible (especially by targeting school children). He doesn’t seem to like immigrants either, suggesting that “more non-white families” (in particular Hispanics) means more single-parent households, which in turn means less Christians.

He is also famous for opposing the otherwise moronic Texas Governor Rick Perry's decision to vaccinate sixth grade children against the most dangerous kinds of HPV (later repeated by Michele Bachmann), because STDs are God’s punishment for breaking His moral code about sex, and hence Just Punishment. “We can not overlook the moral dimension. The governor's action seems to signify that God's moral law regarding sex outside of marriage can be transgressed without consequence.” In other words, Scarborough unabashedly overlooks the moral dimension. Predictably, he has also claimed that AIDS is God’s punishment for the immoral sexual behavior of gays. In 2011 he even attempted to channel Reagan to condemn the CPAC decision to let conservative gay groups speak at the event. It is worth mentioning, however, that he appears to be a Rick Perry fan in general – at least he thinks Perry’s Response prayer rally actually did end the drought in Texas, and that prayer controlled the BP oil spill along the Gulf Coast - in spite of the fact that it didn't appear to do so particularly effectively (does it still count as a post hoc fallacy when the effect simply doesn’t exist?).

Scarborough is the author of dominionist books such as “Mixing Church and State” and “Liberalism Kills Kids” – the title of the latter, given Scarborough’s other views, may actually sound like an endorsement of liberalism for all the wrong reasons. He has asserted that “objective history shows that God gave us America”, though “objective” is obviously one of those three-syllable words Scarborough never mastered. He is also a firm critic of “activist judges” (and contributed to the book “Judicial Tyranny”), which apparently means anyone responsible for court rulings to the effect that other people and groups have the same rights he does.

Like wingnut Taliban extremists, Scarborough suffers from a severe persecution complex, and thus considers all political decisions he does not agree with to be personal attacks against him (or Him, but that amounts to the same thing, it seems) that surely violate the First Amendment.

He is also, shockingly, a birther.

A fine Scarborough resource can be found here.

Diagnosis: Taliban madman and theocrat. Usual stuff. Extremely influential and dangerous.