Quantum Age Water is a company founded by David Schneider to promote various forms of quantum woo, most famously the quantum stirwands developed by Schneider and his companion Exavier Phoenix. The stirwands are expensive plastic items that come in various colors and are supposed to enhance the water you consume (or something) to reduce stress, improve performance, stimulate mental clarity, enhance plant growth and open your chakras. Needless to say, the science behind the products is … missing. According to the website “Quantum Age products are very unique and they are becoming available simultaneously with a new appearing era of big changes that just started. These products represent the Life Force [yup, straight out of medieval medicine] behind everything, that which enables movement and improvement. Quantum Age products are carriers for the Life Force and are the tools for humanity during this time of reality change and grow in consciousness. Not only do they help us to change our own health and personal energy, they also help with the changes in our environment, waters and crops and contribute to a worldwide change in the way we think and act, in short … one of a change in consciousness.” In other words, gibberish. Yet there has been claims of clinical trials – the protocols do not seem to have been released, but the trials were undertaken by the legendary quackhole Fenestra Research. The rather spurious problems these products are supposed to address are described here. And no, quantum physics does not have anything to do with life forces or expanded consciousness, if anyone needed a reminder.
Diagnosis: Crackpottery and pseudoscience galore. We have seen a lot of ridiculous bullshit in the darker recesses of the Internet, but the quantum stirwands are hard to top.