#1871: Jack "Kewaunee" Lapseritis

Ah, yes: Bigfoot. Now, Bigfoot is a pretty silly myth, and bigfoot cryptozoology is pitifully ridiculous, but even tinfoil hat groups like the Bigfoot hunters have their own radical fringes. The late paranormal investigator Jon-Erik Beckjord (called “perhaps the most colorful character in the history of the Internet”) theorized that the lack of hard evidence for Bigfoot’s existence is due to the creature being an interdimensional being that slips in and out of dimensions (rather than, you know, the fact that it doesn’t exist), and many – starting with B. Ann Slate and Alan Berry in 1976 – have linked bigfoot to UFOs, telepathic experiences and incoherent mumbo-jumbo.

Despite a distinct lack of empirical data to back up such hypotheses, people have picked up the thread; Jack “Kewaunee” Lapseritis, for instance, argues in his book The Sasquatch People and Their Interdimensional Connection (2011) that 187 documented cases have “objectified the reality of dimensional bigfoot creatures”. It seems that bigfoot, according to Kewaunee (it’s a bit hard to tell), utilize the multiverse to jump dimensions. Kewaunee’s grasp of the multiverse hypothesis is, needless to say, tenuous and rudimentary. There is also quantum: “[q]uantum physics describes the reality of mental telepathy, invisibility, inter-dimensionalism, and other PSI phenomena, and is actually juxtaposed with psychic Sasquatch and ET behavior,” as Lapseritis sees it. It does not.

Apparently Lapseritis’s work consists mostly of telepathic field work – according to himself, “Kewaunee has been successful in his research because of his benign, spiritual, field methodology (no guns or cameras) – not unlike Dr. Jane Goodall’s approach with chimpanzees, except the Sasquatch are highly evolved nature people. They are terrestrial extraterrestrials, living inside giants’ bodies.” Using senses unavailable to most humans, Lapseritis has apparently intuited for instance that the Bigfoot race was brought to Earth (“seeded”) by the Star People long before humans, ostensibly to provide us with psychic guidance: in 2012, for instance (The Sasquatch People was published in 2011) “there will be a huge shift in human consciousness that most earthlings are ill prepared to face. The Sasquatch people, who are the ultimate environmentalists, want to share their ancient wisdom with the human, but few are listening.” Lapseritis has also written The Psychic Sasquatch and Their UFO Connection.

You can read more about it all on his strikingly designed website (embellished with random capitalizations and lots of different fonts). According to the book blurb for The Sasquatch People, Lapseritis himself is “a Holistic Health Consultant, as well as a Master Herbalist and Wellness Educator with 37 years of training and service in this field. Among many other resources for training, Kewaunee studied Herbalogy/Botany with the Ojibwa traditional shaman, Keewaydinoquay, PhD in Ethno-Botany; he is also a Master Dowser and a Sasquatch and ET contactee. Kewaunee is a world-traveled/trained herbalist who twice healed himself of cancer by natural herbal remedies and formulas.” Right.

In September 2017 Kewaunee and “spiritual teacher” Kelly Lapseritis (probably related) will host the second annual Spiritual and Psychic Sasquatch Conference, where they will apparently speak “on behalf of the Sasquatch People, Mother Earth and all of Humanity” and “propose a spiritual and ecological approach to healing our planet and our own collective soul consciousness.” Apparently their “speakers will share their own personal encounters with these sentient beings as well as the messages that have been shared with them to assist in improving and healing ourselves, relationships, and perspective realities,” and they include, in addition to the Lapseritises:

- SunBôw, author of The Sasquatch Message to Humanity Part 1 and 2.

- Andrew Robson, author of Sasquatch Revelations and Symbols from Beyond the Veil.

- Garrett Duncan, Navajo Shaman.

- Su Walker, Clairvoyant and Medical Intuitive.

- White Otter, Shamanic Practitioner.

Diagnosis: Completely harmless, of course, and probably of limited influence. And one cannot, in all honesty, help feeling a bit of sympathy with how special he is and his possession of all these unique, magic abilities that few seem to take seriously.