#1067: Gail Riplinger

An old picture of Riplinger

“King James Only” denotes the idea that the King James Version (KJV) of the Bible from 1611 is the best or only genuine translation, and in the case of some – such as Gail Riplinger – that it possesses special magical properties. Whereas modern translations are made by a conspiracy of Bible-denying satanists, liberals and secular humanists, the KJV was genuinely dictated by Jesus, who obviously wanted a translation into God’s own language, 17^th century English.

Riplinger, a trained interior decorator, has written a textual analysis – New Age Bible Versions – comparing various contemporary translations side by side with the King James, which, given her tortured logic, quote-mining, fake quotes, lies, numerology and fallacious reasoning, ends up identifying a modern conspiracy among, well, Satan, secularists (Satanists), New Agers (Satanists) and child molesters to remove the name of God from the Bible and prepare the apostate church of these last days to accept the Antichrist, his mark, his image, and religion. “Watch out,” she says, “for the letter ‘s’ – sin, Satan, Sodom, Saul (had to be changed to Paul). The added ‘s’ here is the hiss of the serpent,” which is an interesting start of an approach to accuracy in translation. She also notices that the “Five Points” of Calvinism form a Satanic pentagram – which shows that Bible translations made by Calvinists are Satanic (she is unaware that the KJV was procured in part by Puritans, who were Calvinists themselves) – and identifies Henry Kissinger as the anti-Christ. Particular scholarly praise goes to her acrostic algebra to reveal “the ashy residue on which the NIV and NASV [newer Bible translations] rest”:

•    Step 1: (NASV - NIV) - AV = X

•    Step 2: (NASV - NIV) - AV = X

•    Step 3: (ASI + NV) - AV = X

•    Step 4: ASI + NV - AV = X

•    Step 5: SIN = X

Indeed. Of course, “NISV” stands for the New American Standard Bible, which is usually abbreviated (also in Riplinger’s work) as NASB, but that abbreviation wouldn’t have “worked”. The NIV, on the other hand, is rejected because one of the translators, Herbert Wolf, is called “wolf”, therefore Satan (“they have devoured souls”). Her webpage is here.

Riplinger has of course received her share of criticism (e.g. here and here) from people who know language, history, or just the basics of critical thinking, as well as from those who claim that Riplinger is a woman and should therefore not be teaching the Bible at all (here, for instance; Mark McNeil and Bob L. Ross weigh in here, and David Cloud’s critique is here). An example of Riplinger’s scholarly responses to critics is here.

Related KJV-only ideas have been promoted by Jack Chick’s resident Biblical “scholar” David Daniels here, and by Peter Ruckman, who believes that the Septuagint, the Tanakh of Hellenistic Judaism and the Old Testament of Eastern Christianity, was a hoax.

Diagnosis: Even after so many loons, they still have the power to come up with something fresh and exciting. Beautiful.

#1096: Peter Ruckman

We have encountered the rabid King James Only fanatics before (indeed, even last entry’s Gary and Lisa Ruby belong to the movement), and Peter Ruckman is a big name. Ruckman, a graduate of Bob Jones University, is also the founder of the Pensacola Bible Institute, another unaccredited Taliban institution (not to be confused with Pensacola Christian College) in Pensacola, Florida, a place that has managed to establish itself as an epicenter of loon in the US (Kent Hovind was long a proud inhabitant). As is characteristic for his movement, Ruckman believes that the King James Version constitutes “advanced revelation” and is the final, preserved word of God for English speakers, since the Holy Ghost apparently considered it to be particularly important to have a good English version.

His evidence for the superiority of the King James version is on the slim side, however. According to Ruckman, “Mistakes in the A.V. 1611 are advanced revelation!” meaning that with regard to any details on which said version of the Bible disagrees with older versions, his version of KJ is right, and we should conclude that the older versions must have been corrupted. In other words, Ruckman’s views are as evidence-based and unfalsifiable as your standard David Icke conspiracy theory. He also thinks that the Septuagint, the Tanakh of Hellenistic Judaism and the Old Testament of Eastern Christianity, were hoaxes. Indeed, by claiming that the KJ is not only equal to but superior to existing Hebrew and Greek manuscripts, Ruckman has placed himself on the fringes of the KJ only movement, which is not a sign of mental health. His writings nevertheless remain popular, partially because of his caustic style and dismissals of those who disagree with him in rather colorful ways.

Given Ruckman’s relationship with evidence, you should expect him to entertain some other beliefs that would be located outside of the mainstream as well. And sure enough, Ruckman delivers. He has written about his UFO beliefs (“specifically blue aliens with blue blood, black aliens with green blood, and gray aliens with clear blood”), claiming e.g. that “some of the medieval plagues in Europe were caused by UFOs”, and he is apparently convinced that the CIA has implanted brain transmitters in children, old people, and African-Americans and that the agency operates underground alien breeding facilities. They are of course also out to get him (Ruckman), since by exposing their nefarious ploys Ruckman has apparently become a serious threat. To intimidate him they use black helicopters carrying UN troops, which are “circling your homes” with the mission of attacking and imprisoning the populace – yes, Ruckman believes in (literally) black helicopters, which is sort of like literally believing that tinfoil hats protect you from alien mind reading (which Ruckman may very well believe, in fact). There are also some musings about Atlantis and the Bermuda Triangle in his writings, but it is hard for the casual reader to obtain a fully coherent picture.

In 1984 Ruckman received some attention for writing that “Negroes have to be carried. Where they are left to themselves they resort to mugging, rape, slavery, dope traffic, and eventually cannibalism,” and (much more recently) some attention for his belief that “no matter how much integration is carried out, the IQ of blacks is always lower than whites,” and (currently) his belief that “history is absolute proof that ‘race-mixers’ are mentally sick.” Other examples of racism in Ruckman’s work are discussed here (his claim that “prejudice is a permanent trait of colored people,” and that “all black people are racists. They have color-consciousness that affects every decision they make in life, and they make decisions on the basis of color,” reveal a level of self-awareness that is borderline unusual).

Diagnosis: He may be wrong, but at least he has made sure that he is wrong in as charming a manner as possible. Probably a negligible threat to civilization in the grand scheme of things, but his writings seem to enjoy rather staggering popularity in some less savory segments of the population.

#1174: David J. Stewart

It is refreshing to see characters that still manage to impress after all these loons. David J. Stewart is one such. Stewart, a resident of Guam, has apparently decided that Jack Chick is too lenient on non-believers and not sufficiently fundamentalist (and too coherent to boot – Stewart doesn’t like him). Accordingly, Stewart – a graduate of the staunchly unaccredited Hyles-Anderson College – has for instance managed to become something of a favorite at FSTDT (some here).

Stewart’s website, Jesus Is Savior, concerns itself with familiar themes such as King James-onlyism, Anti-Catholicism, and the evils of rock (Led Zeppelin is dealt with here), including Christian rock (“Christian rock is evil” here), pop and country music (“country music is filthy” here). Part of the point is the old adage that “the Devil has the best music,” which Stewart takes to be a completely serious and true statement (and a slight against religion), concluding that virtually all modern music is ‘Satanic’. Even with regard to these rather common nuttyisms Stewart has his own … style.

But there is more. One recurring idea is that “Oprah is the Most Dangerous Woman in the World!” because she is a New Agie (here; the conclusion is not wholly unwarranted, but the way Stewart gets there deserves to be seen). By contrast, the most dangerous television show ever is apparently Hee Haw (“No doubt, Hee Haw destroyed many marriages and families with their whorish lascivious programming”).

A mainstay of his website is his attacks on other Christian apologists for failing to be sufficiently fundie: Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron, for example, are too affiliated with ‘Satanic’ Hollywood, and even Martin Luther King Jr was a communist and “an Imposter” – MLK is for instance recognized as a good guy by Christianity Today, which also “promotes Rock Music, Witchcraft, Homosexuality and Satanism,” so he should be viewed with … well, according to Stewart “evidence proved that King was under the direct orders of Soviet spies and financed by the Communist Party,” and the FBI tapings of him in the 60s “developed shocking revelations regarding King’s sexual practices.”

The main problem, however, was King’s campaigning for social justice, which to Stewart is “nothing less than a continued Communist conspiracy to destabilize America. This ‘social justice’ has spawned feminism, homosexuality, gay-marriage, abortion, and a host of other evils in America. […] The social justice which King propagated was […] largely a campaign to morally bankrupt America. Communism found a willing servant in Martin Luther King Jr. Today, America is largely Communist.” It should come as little surprise that feminism is evil – a woman’s place is in the home and subservient to her husband. When reading Stewart you should probably keep in mind that feminism, abortion and Lesbianism all mean the same thing). Indeed, feminism is “mass media control as part of a long-term plan to enslave humanity”, because the Rockefellers “want to chip us” and feminism “has women freezing eggs.” Women wearing trousers is unbiblical, as is men wearing kilts (“One only has to look at the above photo to see what's wrong with kilts or skirts on men. It’s disgusting!”)

Unsurprisingly, Stewart is also a 9/11 conspiracy theorist and deeply into New World Order/Illuminati conspiracy theories. Nor is he a fan of evolution. Indeed, he has a substantial section of his website dedicated to “debunking” evolution with links to a variety of crank sources as well as some novel, home-made crazy. Apparently, the idea of evolution was created by the Illuminati as a justification to bring about global communism. He rejects anthropogenic global warming for much the same reasons.

There is also a bit of regular politics, along the lines of “The Bill of Rights does NOT grant rights to homosexuals, abortionists, witches and other immoral groups who do evil. Genuine freedom can only be established and maintained by unwavering faith in God.” Here is his support for Michael Marcavage, guest-authored by … Michael Marcavage and entitled “God Bless Michael Marcavage”.

Here is a sample of his views on atheism. Not only is atheism Satanic, according to Stewart, “atheists now rule most of the world”. Of course, Stewart includes James van Praagh, all Jews and Muslims, and Martin Luther King (that communist) among the atheists, which makes the claim easier to back up in one sense.

I am not completely sure whether this commentary is a poe or not.

Diagnosis: A very angry man, Stewart has managed to make a name for himself, but probably not in the way he hoped. Probably rather harmless. But he is, indeed, pretty angry.

#2680: Scott Clarke

The End Times remain, as always, imminent, and those who study the signs find plenty that can be interpreted as pointing to the end of the world being just around the corner (as long as you don’t apply reason or sound principles of assessment – and if you study eschatology, you don’t). Scott Clarke of ERF Ministries sees plenty of signs. He even – somewhat unusually for these people – set a specific date: The Rapture will occur with an astronomical alignment on September 23, 2017, and Clarke produced plenty of Bible interpretation and attempts to shoehorn various astronomical (or, mostly, astrological) events to fit those interpretations. Apparently the alignment, which was termed “The Great Sign of Revelation 12”, involves various constellations – Virgo and Leo – along with a number of planets, and on September 23, 2017, Jupiter would exit the lower part of Virgo (the virgin) in a way that Clarke says fulfills the “man child” of Revelation 12 being birthed by the woman. (We might have missed some details.) He even achieved some degree of Internet virality with his nonsense, and more sympathizers and followers than those of us who try to retain some faith in humanity would have hoped for (Lex Cullen at the website What the Bible Says, for instance (google it yourself) – though then again, Cullen seems to giddily endorse absolutely any End Time prophecy he comes across; and one Don Koenig tied the prophecy to planet X and Trump’s withdrawal from the Paris climate accords and the rejection of the “bogus” science behind global warming, which is a lie like “the science of evolution” and really “all about global governance and wealth redistribution”).

 

But yeah, it’s astrology. Not wishing to jeopardize their credentials as serious scholars, Clarke and his followers deny being engaged in astrology, but rather “biblical astronomy”. Apparently astrology “is the study that assumes and attempts to interpret the influence of the heavenly bodies on human affairs. Biblical astronomy recognizes that God created the heavens and they are for signs to us. They are also the origin of our marking of time.” So there you go.

 

Well, Clarke’s prediction ran into a bit of trouble on September 23, 2017. But Scott Clarke was unfazed, and enthusiastically returned to youtube two days later, excited by a “new interpretation” of, well, we are reluctant to call them “data”. He even – also unusually – explained his error, namely embracing the original Hewbrew language in his Bible studies: But Hebrew is, according to changed Scott Clarke, a “garbage” language. He should have gone with King James Only from the start and the technique of “Right[ly] Dividing”. Clarke and fellow deranged loon Pastor Rodney Beaulieu promptly set out to explore their new framework. (They were also promptly criticized by other lunatic dingbats with different interpretations, such as Carl Gallups, who seemed to miss the more obvious problems with Clarke’s framework and predictions). Apparently the astrological configuration of September 23 was only the heavenly sign announcing the beginning of the events in question, not providing any timeline for how quickly these events would develop.

 

Diagnosis: Oh yeah, they’re still around, putting great efforts into unintentionally giving fundamentalism all the bad light it deserves. What’s most fascinating, perhaps, is the incoherent justifications and levels of motivated reasoning exhibited by their (many) followers.

#706: Samuel C. Gipp

Samuel C. Gipp is a pastor, evangelist, teacher, author and Bible conference speaker. According to his website (do check it out; this is timecube land), Gipp has “the unique ability to digest large amounts of information” and get absolute nothing but crazy out of it (though his website puts it as “present it in an analytical, understandable, format”). One of Gipp’s main schticks is environmentalism, and his erudite analyses is summed up thusly: “[f]rom years of studying environmentalists I have come to the conclusion that they are both religion based and mentally ill. This makes for a dangerous combination.” Which, I suppose, exemplifies his aforementioned unique ability. “The mental illness of environmentalism manifests itself is three forms; Paranoid, Delusional and Criminal insanities.” Fortunately he knows how to deal with it: “Since religious environmentalism is a mental disease it must be treated like one. Those afflicted by the malady must be gathered into central locations and be treated by counseling, drug therapy, shock treatments or whatever is necessary to restore their sanity and return them to being productive members of society.” Of course, being clinically insane does not exempt you from legal responsibility: “they are to be dealt with as any other criminal is. These criminal environmentalists are, in fact, terrorists. They seek to achieve their goals by terrorizing the general population by criminal actions. Like any criminal they have no regard for the rights or lives of their victims. Judges, no matter how liberal, owe it to the general public to protect them from criminal environmentalists by sentencing them as they would any rapist or murderer.”

What makes environmentalists criminal is that environmentalists are apparently to blame for murdering America through an elaborate conspiracy (“The most successful murder is one you make look like natural causes. That was the tactic used to murder the U. S. Auto Industry and by that death, the United States of America.”)

Gipp is, of course, also a birther, but I am not sure that is the most objectionable part of the statement: “We all know that our Kenyan president is half-black and half-white. I wish he was completely black. Why? Well, I, like all Americans, have been carefully and repeatedly taught through the News Media, Hollywood and public education that Blacks never do anything wrong, only white people are bad.” In his article “What now”, he concluded, accordingly, that “[a]s of November 4, 2008, for all practical purposes, the United States of America ceased to exist. This nation willingly elected a freedom-hating Communist.”

Gipp is also an avowed fan of Jack Chick, and is of course a “King James only” defender – apparently KJV is particularly inspired, and in Gipp’s “Answer Book” we also find the following “question/answer”:

Question: If there is a perfect Bible in English, doesn't there also have to be a perfect Bible in French, and German, and Japanese, etc?

Answer: God has always given His word to one people in one language to do one job; convert the world. The supposition that there must be a perfect translation in every language is erroneous and inconsistent with God's proven practice.

Yep. That’s a real, shining, and genuine “if English was good enough for Jesus …” (in line with this)

Diagnosis: You go get’em, Sam.