Thursday, January 31, 2013

#402: Chris Ward

I have to confess to not being entirely certain who Christopher Ward actually is, but he seems to be a prominent figure in the Logoschristian movement, which is one of those churches that, well, cannot really be described in words (see Ward discuss “Michelle Obama in prophecy” here; it is not entirely non-creepy. Also see him tell you who the Andromenati are here (no, I have no idea, and neither do you)). In any case, he is an exorcist who is heavily involved in this site - a hardcore fundie, Biblical literalist UFO site (yes, you read that right). The main purpose of the site seems to be to find Biblical evidence for UFOs (there’s plenty of Nostradamus as well), and their heroes appear to be Richard Hoagland, Sid Roth and Chuck Missler (yes, the one of the peanut butter argument against evolution). They feature, among other things, a marvelous range of fonts, colors, random capitalization, as well as a section on “Testimonies of UFOs by famous Christians”. I am not confident all of the people featured in that section would agree that they were giving testimonies of UFO sightings.

In any case, as far as I can see, Ward seems to be running the site with one Bruce Widaman (of MUFON and his wife Rita). Their tenets appear to include:
- “We consider that the UFO, Alien, and Abduction phenomena is real”.
- “We consider that what our primitive society has observed as Aliens are in actuality the heavenly hosts, angels, fallen angels, watchers, wicked hosts in high places, rulers of the dark world, powers, and principalities stated in the Bible”.
- “We consider that they were here before and after the deluge according to the Book of Genesis” (apparently important).
- “We consider that they took the daughters of men and committed fornication (intercourse) with them and produced the Gebers as the Bible states in Genesis 6:4.”
- “We consider that the antichrist will be Satan's seed – a Nephilim/Gibborim […] This will probably include cloning and a hybrid.”
- “We also consider that the 'lie' is the major spin of the UFO phenomena. The UFO cults say that the aliens are the Elohim, that they are our gods, and that we came from star-seed, and that we are not created by God – This is THE 'lie'. See the movie "Mission to Mars [which, accordingly, seems to be almost as good as the Bible as a source of evidence] [...] We believe that a cult will clone a human being in this Century.” (They seem to be referring to this one)
- “We consider that the dead sea scrolls confirm the books of I Enoch, Jubilees, and the Book of the Twelve Patriarchs which all reported the fallen angels having sex with the daughters of men and produced the Nephilim/Gibborim.”

You see, they don't have to investigate any of their claims or apply any reasoning whatsoever, since the crazy is all there in the premises that they presuppose for any other investigative work.

They also seem to take a lot of pride in having photos displayed on Art Bell’s show and the fact that Ward has personally met Richard Hoagland. Ward has apparently also written a book on Internet exorcism. He has also written this one, though I’m not entirely sure what exactly it is (apart from critically insane).

Did you, by the way, wonder what country/organization the Book of Revelation refers to when it talks about Gog? No, it is not the EU, nor Jerusalem, nor even Russia, as we all thought: “The flag of Turkey was officially adopted on June 5, 1936. The white crescent and star, symbols of Islam, are placed slightly to the left on the red field, and that shade of red dates back to the Ottoman Empire in the 17th century (when they martyred 6 million Christians). Cresent Moon = Alat (female) the Moon goddess, or Allah (male); star = Baal or sign of the circumpunct. Red is Edom (Jordan and Arabia) and blood. Ezekiel 38:16 ‘And thou shalt come up against my people of Israel, as a cloud to cover the land; it shall be in the latter days, and I will bring thee against my land, that the heathen may know me, when I shall be sanctified in thee, O Gog, before their eyes.’” Yes, the end is obviously near. Soon, “Iran will attack Saudi Arabis and set all the oil fields on fire.” In the meantime you can buy Chris Ward’s Prayer Dashboard and learn to preach like a complete batshit lunatic.

According to Ward, he has been a lot on TV. He has for instance been interviewed on the Colbert report, Larry King Live, by Glenn Beck, and so on. Funny how google has overlooked such things. May we suggest … a conspiracy to wipe out Ward’s past?

Diagnosis: Heartily, clinically whacko. Not a trace of a connection to anything resembling reality. Probably completely harmless.

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