Friday, November 29, 2013

#809: Heather Johnstone

“Have you ever considered this simple question: Are you clean inside?” asks Heather Johnstone. The reason she asks is because she has convinced herself that colon cleansing is the magical way to avoid disease, and now she wants to convince you. The fact that the idea is really ridiculous an so far away from any evidence-based advice is less important when Johnstone applies her powers of intuition and lack of basic insight into how the body actually works. Instead, for Johnstone it’s all about the toxins, and she claims – just as well, I suppose – that unclean bowels may be the cause of every chronic disease there is.

To promote her woo, Johnstone runs the website (yes, you guessed it; it is all about “what’s natural”). As for herself, she presents herself as “Heather Johnstone, PhD” (in fact, she presents herself as “PhD RN BC APN AMP-C RYT at 500 hour level”). Of course, her “PhD” is a “PhD in Metaphysics” from the American Institute of HolisticTheology. It is probably unnecessary to say that this is an unaccredited institution. She also claims to be enrolled in Homeopathy and Naturopathy Programs at Greg Lawton’s Blue Heron Academy. It is probably unnecessary to state that the accreditation level of said institution is approximately that of your average spam.

Diagnosis: Woo. As pure, shining, and idiotic as it comes. In fact, it is very likely that colon cleansings are not only not beneficial to you, but possibly harmful, so Johnstone’s threat to civilization should not be completely dismissed. 

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