#1527: Rose De Dan

Faith healing is silly. Giving it an orientalist flair and calling it “reiki” does not make it less silly. But Rose De Dan takes it and runs with it. De Dan bills herself as an “animal reiki shaman,” which basically means that her job consists of petting animals and wishing them well through “distance healing”. Of course, pet owners will soon discover that the practices don’t really make any difference to their pets’ health, but if the absence of any beneficial effect ever leads you to question your faith, you should turn to De Dan’s article “Reiki Does Not Always Heal the Way You Want” (yes, the title is technically true, though the word “Always” and phrase “the Way You Want” are superfluous). “Wait,” you may say; “the adherents continue to believe in the technique just as strongly even though it rather obviously has no beneficial effect? Isn’t that completely delusional?” Well, perhaps, but keep in mind that we are talking religion here – and pet owners who, in the name of religion, forgo the care that their pets need in favor of faith healing. According to De Dan reiki provides “other benefits” and the practitioner may not always be able to see what those benefits are. You can, however, send “reiki energy back in time to heal yourself.” De Dan suggests, once reiki has failed to heal your pet, that you send reiki energy back in time to heal yourself for your neglect sorrow and guilt. In other words, reiki is precisely what the practitioner wants it to be; it may not give you the results you specifically think you want, but when it doesn’t you can use it to convince yourself that the results you did get were the ones you really needed in any case.

In short, if you use reiki on your pet to cure it and the pet e.g. dies of neglect, that only means that the pet needed to die (since reiki always ensures that the victim patient gets what it needs), and that what you wanted on behalf of the pet (to get well) was in conflict with what it actually needed (to die). And then you use reiki to heal yourself of the misguided wishes (for your pet’s health) you had on your pet’s behalf.

You can see her explain in some more detail how to perform reiki on your pets here. “I would suggest asking your dog to help you practice your new skills. Approach the session by stating (to yourself), ‘I ask that this Reiki be offered for your highest healing good, and that if you do not wish to receive it, I respect your desire.’ This enlists his support, shifts focus from your need to his, and releases your focus on ‘fixing’ the issue. Next I would tell him the steps that you intend to take. Imagine yourself going through the steps in your mind, with your hands being still–this will give your dog information about what to expect and how he could cooperate.” Then you pet it. Also, you need to do some detoxification to purge your dog of evil spirits.

Diagnosis: Delusional religious fanatic.