#3079: Linda Isaacs

It is 2026, and there are still people around who genuinely believe that shooting coffee up their behinds – coffee enemas – have some sort of health benefit. But yes, coffee enemas have been a staple of ‘detox’ therapies for a while, base on the idea that you can somehow remove unnamed ‘toxins’ (which are, by handwaving, posited as the causes of various diseases) from your body by magic and nonsense techniques. It’s as dumb as thinking that exposing water to duck liver and then ritually purifying the water to rid it of any remnant of the duck liver through magical ceremonies can give you a flu medicine, but people believe that, too. Coffee enemas are a central part for instance of the deranged cancer quackery known as the Gerson therapy (and no: even if you bracketed the insane rationale, the evidence is crystal clear that Gerson therapy doesn’t work). You can read more about coffee enemas and the silliness surrounding them here.

 

Linda Isaacs believes in coffee enemas. But then, Isaacs is a “holistic” quack who has a background as partner, for two decades, of legendary quack Nicholas Gonzalez, a central promoter of the idea that “detoxification” with coffee enemas should be part of the protocol for cancer treatment. Isaacs justifies coffee enemas by citing case reports from the 19^th century (1866, late 1800s, 1896 and an outlier from 1941 published in the Uruguayan Medical, Surgical and Specialization Archives). Embarrassingly, Isaacs is, apparently, also an MD, though she has thoroughly left real medicine by the wayside to instead offer “individualized nutritional programs for patients with cancer and other illnesses” by continuing Gonzalez’s work. And yes, she recommends a lot of supplements (“cancer patients will take 150-200 capsules a day, including nutrients as well as pancreas product”). Detoxification is then necessary because “some patients develop muscle aches and pains or other ‘flu-like’ symptoms, which may be caused by release of waste materials and stored toxins as the body’s repair processes work.” You will look in vain for a specification of what ‘toxins’ she is talking about. You will, however, find a Quack Miranda Warning, even though she tries to hide it as much as she (legally) can.

 

Diagnosis: No. She might sound balanced and reasonable. After all, customers like people who sound balanced and reasonable. She is not balanced and reasonable.