Friday, January 27, 2023

#2611: Robin (& Robin) Bullock

Yeah, there are in fact two of them: Robin & Robin Bullock comprise a husband-and-wife fundie wingnut duo of self-declared prophets (husband Robin seems to be most active) best known for promoting insane conspiracy theories, deranged Qanon nonsense and Trump-is-still-president ramblings – according to husband Robin, God told him (like He told other prophets) in advance of the 2020 election that Biden will not be president and that the Democratic Party will go underground: “President Trump will win by a landslide,” asserted Bullock. Given that it was told in the voice of God, the content of the prophecy is of course unassailable; subsequent events, like the actual election results just means that work is needed to get the terrain to fit the map (“it takes a while to dig out of a landslide,” said Bullock; just think about it).


He also screamed at his critics that he would not apologize for falsely prophesying that Trump would win in 2020: “You are going to answer for trying to regulate the Lord’s prophets. You, with your big educations,” declared Bullock. Indeed, he claims (without evidence, of course) to have prophesied both 9/11 and the COVID-19 pandemic, so he couldn’t possibly have been wrong about Trump’s reelection!


Bullock later claimed that President Biden is attempting to “stop prophecy” by having defeated Trump in the election, and will thus be driven mad because he does not have the anointing of God on him – “this so-called administration is actually a regime whose sole purpose is to stop a prophecy from coming to pass. That’s what it is,” claimed Bullock. He also urged Biden to publicly confess that the 2020 presidential election was fraudulent and that he is not the legitimate president – according to Bullock, God has “extended this hand of mercy” by giving Biden the opportunity to repent for supposedly stealing the election from Trump: “Stand up and say, ‘It was a fraud.’ Stand up and say, ‘I didn’t win legitimate.’ […] It is an opportunity for you to make it right. Stand up before the American people before your handlers can stop you.”


When Biden – a jackal sitting in the White House seat whom God has told him (Bullock) has become dangerous to America – failed to accommodate his request, Bullock asserted that Biden has a “slotted serpent’s eye,” which he claimed is evidence of demonic possession, and that whenever Biden whispers, he is actually channeling “the voice of a demonic spirit”. The demonic connection has in fact been there for a while: apparently the stage at the Democratic National Convention in 2008 was modeledafter the throne of Satan”; Bullock offered no picture of the latter for support, but informed his listeners, in lieu of such documentation, that God also told him thateveryone knows that the Democrat Party is evil”. Given the present state of affairs, it is in fact a sin to recognize Biden as president, and no one can legitimate pray for “President Joe Biden” because no such person exists: “You might as well pray for the Easter Bunny.” There are also constant, numerous sign that Biden’s presidency (at least when President Biden doesn’t simply fail to exist) is “finished.


In 2021, Bullock revealed that God had let him know that “the decision has been made” about returning Trump to office before November the same year. Around the same time, he urged his fellow “prophets” to come together and call former President Donald Trump back to the White House, declaring that if they will do so, “God will supernaturally move things out of the way” to allow Trump to return. One would have thought the effort to sway God redundant since the decision had already been made. Whatever.


Bullock can also report that God is very upset about the FBI search of Mar-a-Lago: “God didn’t like that. It didn’t sit well in Heaven.” He has elsewhere urged Donald Trump to call him (Bullock) so that he could deliver a prophetic word from God (presumably that Trump was “anointed from the day you were born to be president”) on how to regain the White House: Apparently, the God-advised strategy consists of deciding to “rise up. So there. Bullock insisited that Trump must listen to prophets, not his advisors, and claimed to have heard in the spirit that Trump’s advisors told him not to listen to prophets. Bullock’s ability to judge the reliability of information is demonstrably questionable.


On the other hand, Bullock has actually met both Jesus and God in person: Jesus ostensibly spoke to him after walking through a water portal, and Bullock hasbeen to heaven in different Throne Rooms a couple of times”; one time he “watched [God] create the world” and “[i]t was the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen”. He’s got a way with words. It’s not a good way. And God apparently lives inside a “cube of gelatin”. Bullock has seen it*: “You could see his hair. You could see the outline of it inside that. You could see his beard.” “It was pure energy”, since energy is just like a cube of gelatin. Bullock emphasized that, given the energy, “the cube had to be there”.


*He apparently didn’t try to engage with the cube to free the trapped object, despite the opportunity for 650 XP. There’s a decent novel’s worth of backstory to the encounter, we suspect.



Weighing in on COVID, Bullock screams that Dr. Anthony Fauci is a “serpent” and “a rat” whose appearance has been distorted by a cube of gelatin demonic spirit. He also claims that COVID-19 vaccines are a “deadly placebo,” which makes no sense whatsoever at any possible level but nicely encapsulates the mind of Robin Bullock. It’s interesting to note that everything seems to fall apart for Robin Bullock whenever he tries his hand at words with more than two syllables: ‘placebo’, ‘regulate’, ‘energy’, ‘gelatin’.


Then he attempted to use his spiritual authority to negate the effectiveness of COVID-19 vaccines: “In the name of Jesus, I call that serum null and void.” Well, then. (Bullock trusts his superpowers: back in the days, it was his prayers that caused Saddam Hussein to release hostages). In 2021, he declared that if any Christian who received a COVID-19 vaccine will repent, God would “neutralize its effects inside your blood stream.”


And who do you think is behind the pandemic (apart from Biden, Soros, Clinton and Fauci)? According to Bullock, companies offering DNA genetic testing were part of the plot to create COVID-19, with COVID being, in fact, a biological weapon that was released so they could give you a vaccine that will steal your soul [he’s got a funny view of biology]: “I’m convinced that’s what all those DNA tests were about. People say [who?], ‘Well, you can’t prove that.’ Maybe not, but you can’t prove that it wasn’t.” On other occasions, the vaccines are designed to condition people to eventually get microchips implanted in their brains as part of the Mark of the Beast.


General theology

According to Bullock, tithing is important. Lots of people think the same, but Bullock has his own explanation for why it is important: According to Bullock, tithing – which he calls “circumcising your money” – is something you should do because it helps angels identify you when you walk into a tire store, so that you will get the best deal and so that your entire family won’t be killed in a car crash.


Also, if you thought Jesus was poor, well he wasn’t. No, Jesus was a wealthy man who had five houses. Dimly aware that the Scriptural basis for the assertion is somewhat slim, Bullock has a quick reply: “I don’t even care. He had five houses!” Poverty is a sin. Send him money.


Other issues

Bullock also seems to fancy himself a bit of a Constitutional scholar, having apparently tried to read some of David Barton’s pseudohistorical misinformation. Bullock claims for instance that the U.S. Constitution is the only one in history “that has never changed” because it was “written from the word of God” – indeed, “we get everything you know of in our Constitution from the scripture.” It would be interesting to know what his copy of the Constitution – or the Bible – looks like; in fairness, we suspect he hasn’t read either. And it is apparently a Consitutional requirement for being president that you are properly ordained by God; therefore Biden can’t be president. “Democracy” means that only God’s vote actually counts, even though he’s not an American citizen.


Bullock’s attempt to explain, with the aid of a chart, how Satan “made a hallway that spanned time” to bring “a duplicate of the Antichrist” in the form of Barack Obama back from the Last Days is somewhat hard to follow – it certainly lacks the coherence of the Cartoon Network superhero cartoon plots it otherwise tries to emulate.


ApparentlyBarack Obama was prophetically removed from office” in 2010, however. In fact, Jesus already namedBarack Obama” as Satan in Luke 10:18 (Bullock is not the first one to make that insanely stupid claim). Indeed, to emphasize the threat Obama actually posed, Bullock has tried to show how (well: assert that) former President Barack Obama intentionally destabilized the United States in preparation for the presidency of Hillary Clinton, who would then go on to use the planned COVID-19 pandemic to fully destroy the nation and usher in the End Times.


Speaking about Clinton, Bullock declared that people who voted for Hillary Clinton in the 2016 presidential election are responsible for the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020: “when they voted for this, it brought the coronavirus. That’s where it came from.” Also, “the Book of Revelation talks about Jezebel, and Bill and Hillary Clinton’s life is perfectly paralleled with Ahab and Jezebel. That’s who they are. And I mean, perfectly parallel.” Ah, those three-syllable words again, ‘perfectly’ and ‘parallel’.


But be warned: In 2021, Bullock declared that those who mock him will be driven insane by God. His critics are also gay: “LGBTQ – whatever they call themselves”.


Apparently, though, gay people are possessed by a demonic spirit that is intent on covering up their true calling as evangelists for Jesus (“this is what I’ve heard from the Lord”): Bullock claims to have received a lot of prayer requests asking for healing from cancer, diabetes, and homosexuality, something he has, according to himself (and you know how trustworthy he is!), been incredibly successful at.


Bullock is, however, not a nobody in the raging fundie pen of the Stop-the-steal clown train; he’s apparently affiliated with Elijah Streams (part of the Elijah List); someone like Roger Stone seeks him out for media exposure. Apparently Rachel Hamm, a GOP candidate for secretary of state in California, is a big fan of the Bullocks, too.


Diagnosis: Funny-horn honker on the fundie wingnut clown-train as it rambles on, building steam and trying to crush everything in its path. It’s scary and dangerous, but it’s impossible not to look and laugh.


  1. This guy makes Jim Jones look good, which is not a laughing matter!

  2. I've been following this guy on "Right Wing Watch" for several years now, face it, he's been doing some major league mushrooms or LSD.

  3. Since I don't believe in making fun of people with mental illness, I'll refrain from posting the many smart-ass comments I harbored about Robin and Robin (or is it Batman and Batman)?

  4. False prophet!!!

    He has almost all the things which qualify him for one, but he doesn't speak in tongues!

    It's needless to say how I'm disappointed 🥺