#2117: Mark Amaru Pinkham

It is sometimes a bit unclear whether some of the pseudohistory concocted by the denizens of the more deranged corners of the Internet devoted to New Age stuff, UFOs, pastel fluff and unicorns, is intended as, well, alternative history or just intuition-based explorations of the authors’ own deranged minds, and the incoherent ramblings of Mark Amaru Pinkham certainly raise that question. Chakras, ley lines, ancient astronauts and orientalism are indiscriminately thrown into a blender and the results published both online and in weird books by obscure publishers. Pinkham, for instance, is the author of e.g. Sedona: City of Star People – Court of the King of the World, which, according to the introduction, is a “chronology of events that transpired in my life between February 1987 and May 2015.” That is an odd way to introduce what is ostensibly a history book, but apparently Pinkham came, during this period, to realize that Sedona “sits upon the foundations of a very ancient lost city of the Star People” and, moreover, that these star people from UFOs “taught the Hopis the mysteries of the cosmos and the rituals they continue to observe today.” The evidence all points to this conclusion once you reject the distinction between fantasy and reality, which seems to have been Pinkham’s primary methodological strategy. Chapters include “The one million year history of Sedona”, “Sedona, Root Chakra of Earth”, “The Sedona Grid and Chakra Points” and “The Yezidis know Masau’u as their Peacock Angel and visit his court in Sedona” (they most certainly do not).

Pinkham is currently Grand Prior of The International Order of Gnostic Templars (in fact, he is “Grand PriorSir Mark Amaru Pinkham” – our emphasis – though we suspect that the Queen was not involved in bestowing that title upon him), which is ostensibly “a modern day spiritual knight templar order dedicated to the revival of gnostic wisdom & the goddess tradition of the original templars” (those would not be identical to the people historians refer to by “knights templar”), which seems even less impressive once you see their website and the picture of Pinkham in his ceremonial garb (do check it out here). He is apparently also the founder and director – with his wife Andrea Mikana-Pinkham, a “reiki master” – of the Djedhi School of Ancient Wisdom, where you may enroll to “achieve Gnostic Wisdom and Mastery of the Force”. (Yes, it may very well be; who knows.) You will also “be given a blue robe to wear during ceremony.”

His other books include The Return of The Serpents of Wisdom, Conversations with The Goddess, The Truth Behind the Christ Myth, Guardians of the Holy Grail: The Knights Templar, John the Baptist and the Water of Life, and World Gnosis: The Coming Gnostic Civilization. Apparently all of them “reveal startling information which, until now, has been concealed or has been taught solely to advanced spiritual seekers and mystery school students.” We admit to you probably didn’t learn this information in school or at the university. Pinkham is also “a professional Astrologer with over twenty-five years of experience.” Of course, “professional” means something slightly different in these circles.

Diagnosis: Yes, he is very spiritual, and probably rather harmless to the real world. We wonder if we ought to feel a bit bad about making fun of him.