Sunday, November 20, 2022

#2591: Tom Brady

Tom Brady is a spineless hack who has milked his celebrity status for all it is worth to hawk useless junk, pseudoscience and fraudulent products under his TB12 brand. The brand started as a fad diet and merch shop, focusing on snacks that could be savvily marketed as being in line with whatever diet fad would be in vogue at any given time, including utter bullshit like alkaline water.


Brady’s book The TB12 Method: How to Achieve a Lifetime of Sustained Peak Performance was a bestseller – apparently lots of people must have been under the strange impression that Brady’s anonymous ghostwriter would have something knowledgeable and worthwhile to say about the issues. The book – or really: infomercial (there are products to sell with every piece of advice) – promotes the pseudoscientific fad generally known as alkaline diets, in particular Brady’s own bonkers nonsense “80/20 diet”, which supposedly means 80% alkaline and 20% acidic – though ‘alkaline’ and ‘acidic’ should not be associated with the chemical interpretation of those words but rather some tarot-based nonsense categorization mostly made up as you go along: his book is all about “alkalizing” foods (which is apparently meant to decrease inflammation in your body – whatever that means – and prevent fractions, which is profoundly idiotic and easily debunked). The label doesn’t mean that the foods are alkaline, or that they make your body – or anything in it – more alkaline (that would of course be really bad). Brady’s health regimen also incorporates harmless stuff like transcendental meditation and harmless pseudoscience like neuroplasticity training. (And for those who wonder: the reason Brady has managed to stay fit for so long is not because of his dietary advice, but because he can afford a personal chef.) Apparently the TB12™ Nutrition Manual, which retailed for $200, quickly sold out.


I'm very cautious about tomatoes. They cause inflammation,” says Brady, who also avoids peppers, mushrooms, or eggplants “because they're not anti-inflammatory”. None of those labels have anything to do with what those words mean, of course; Brady just applies them according to some kind of pseudoreligious scheme based on free association. He also recommends drinking a lot of water, crediting it with protecting him from sunburns. It does not (though one would think it subverted his alkalizing project … never mind). Water, though, isn’t enough; Brady’s water is supplemented with electrolytes, which is utter bullshit but does make it expensive and hence exclusive, which is surely good. Again, he is just making it up as he goes along, just like he does with his claim that “the regimen I follow is a mix of Eastern and Western philosophies” … yeah, it sounds marketing savvy; it sounds informed and broad-minded – as long as you don’t ask him for details about what, precisely, the ‘philosophical’ basis for any of his health claims could possibly be. Brady did not provide such details.


In the book, Brady claims his durability is a result of “muscle pliability, a pseudoscientific idea cooked up by his “body coachand business partner Alex Guerrero. Guerrero is himself an interesting character, by the way, having a decent rap sheet with the Federal Trade Commission, in particular for his attempt in 2005 to falsely pass himself off as a doctor able to cure cancer, Aids, MS and Parkinson’s disease with dietary supplements, but also for marketing the sports drink Neurosafe, which he claimed could prevent concussions. Brady endorses Neurosafe.


Many of the products pushed as part of the TB12 protocols are of course intended to boost your immune system, and it is not all harmless nonsense: at least Brady managed to attract some negative attention with the marketing of the nonsense product Protect (an “immunity blend” which promises to “activate your immune system and counter stress-induced immune suppression”) strongly implied that it would help protect against COVID-19. And yes: it did come with a Quack Miranda Warning to ward off the possibilitiy of the dishonesty getting him in legal troubles.


There is a brief but decent takedown of Brady’s bullshit here.


Diagnosis: The sports interested guy’s counterpart to Gwyneth Paltrow, we suppose. And he’s had staggering – Paltrow-comparable – success with his utter bollocks and bullshit. And it is, like Goop’s, not all harmless.


Hat-tip: Bryan Armen Graham @The Guardian


  1. "The reason Brady has managed to stay fit is not because of his dietary advice, but because he can afford a personal chef"?????

    What kind of oxymoronic contradictory statement is that?

    1. I would assume that whoever would do Brady's cooking, private chef or his wife, would do it according to his dietary advice! Make sense?

    2. I actually agree that the formulation is poor. Brady's health is unlikely to have anything decisive to do with diet at all. That said, the key word is "afford" - a healthy diet is very much a matter of being able to afford high-quality products and having the time to prepare satisfying meals from them (there are cheap healthy products, too, but eating a satisfyingly rich and varied diet *that is also healthy* takes a lot of time and money).

      That said, I sort of suspect that he doesn't actually give much detailed advice to his chef. Indeed, I sort of suspect that Brady doesn't really have a very firm grasp of what his own dietary advice is beyond some random and changing hangups.

      I wonder a bit what you think the words "contradictory" and "oxymoronic" mean, though.

    3. I too was to ask this moron what is oxymoronic in a sentence he quotes but I, as I said previously, do not argue with such idiots.

  2. "the regimen I follow is a mix of Eastern and Western philosophies"

    When alternative idiots like Brady talk about "philosophy" they always have in mind Eastern & Western esoteric bullshit.

    (Brady AND philosophy... what a joke 🤣)

  3. I doubt Tom Brady has ever READ a book, let alone written one. As you pointed out, it was almost certainly a ghost writer who penned his dumbass screed.