#1658: Bruce Goldberg

Some people believe that vampires exist or even that they themselves are vampires. Of course, what they mean by “vampire” varies, and common varieties are “psychic vampires” or “energy vampires”, where “vampire” seems to be mostly a fancier name for “asshole” (or to denote people that the paranoid loons who use this terminology have decided, for whatever reason or none, that they don’t feel comfortable around).

A good example of the kind of people who believe in vampires is Inanna Arthen. Another is Bruce Goldberg. According to Goldberg energy vampires (unconsciously?) drain the energy of those unprotected people around them – though he prefers the term “psychic parasitism” (duh!). In particular, energy vampires do their damage by telepathically draining their victim’s energy resources (yes, it’s that kind of “energy”). Apparently vampires also come in different forms, including “the ethereal type”.

Goldberg, however, endeavors to help them. He offers advice on how you can ostracize protect yourself from them on his website, and “highly recommend[s] my Spiritual Growth experience CD album and my book Protected By the Light to fully benefit from this topic,” of course. His website features articles like “Reincarnation Documented Live on Network Radio” (that would be Coast to Coast AM) and “Art Bell’s Past Life in Atlantis.” There is also “Am I a Time Traveler”, which even yours truly can’t make any sense of whatsoever, but apparently time travel will be discovered in 3050 and Goldberg has met such travelers: “The first time traveler I met in hyperspace (the fifth dimension) was a pure human calling himself Traksa. He lives in the thirty-sixth century on Earth when time travel is manifested by way of teleportation. This means that Traksa can beam his physical body back to our century without requiring a spacecraft. Time travelers use names that represent their current mission. One of Traksa’s assignments consisted of introducing me to Art Bell. If you spell his name backwards it reads ‘ASK ART!’ [just think about that for a moment] I have had the pleasure of being interviewed by Art nine times. Good work Traksa.” He’s even got pictures of his encounters. Well, they’re drawings. The drawings are done by his friend Janine Cooper, but Goldberg assures us that Cooper “got her inspiration from her own subconscious, not from photos or movies. Traksa told me that he telepathically directed her in each of the portraits,” so it’s entirely legit. He even has a book, Time Travelers From Our Future.

Goldberg also seems to have a history of using hypnosis to discover patients’ past or future lives as alien abductees, ostensibly to help them, and offers “Private Hypnotherapy Sessions By Computer” if you are willing to cough up $450.

Diagnosis: It’s hard to take him too seriously, but you never know. If it is a joke it’s not particularly professionally done, so either way Goldberg is probably a complete idiot.