Friday, January 23, 2015

#1268: David Wolfe


Youtube is a blessing for snakeoil salesmen, conspiracy theorists and loons. I don’t know how successful David Wolfe’s products have been in particular, but at least youtube has enabled him to spread the word about his revolutionary insights into the field of medicine, things that no one else has noticed or your doctor don’t want to tell you, and a range of remarkable products you can buy to help you deal with his nefarious, entirely made-up woes and ills. Indeed, he has “over 16 years of dedicated experience and understanding of the inner workings of the human body,” which seems to mean that he has peddled nonsense for the better part of two decades. He seems to have no relevant education. 

Did you, for instance, know that dirty electricity is all around you? Well, at least Wolfe is ready to tell you about the dangers of iPads, Kindles, or merely sitting in a room full of electronics. Without proper grounding you will be exposing yourself to harmful radiation (the science behind the claims is, shall we say, a little woolly). Fortunately, Wolfe has the solution – you can buy his grounding mats, grounding sandals and grounding sleeping bags, watch his video, and magically clear yourself of this dark side of electricity.

But Wolfe is, like snake oil salesmen often are, a polymath, and his areas of self-declared expertise are broad. Wolfe is, for instance, a “longevity expert,” and ready to “share with you the most recent advancements and cutting-edge technologies in the field of peak-performance health,” and the benefits of detoxification. All in return for an almost nominal fee.

Indeed, according to himself Wolfe is “the rock star of the superfoods and longevity world, America’s TOP CEOs, Global Ambassadors, Hollywood celebrities, busy professionals, and even the most powerful buying influence in the nation – Moms – all look to David for expert advice in health, beauty, herbalism, nutrition and chocolate!” Currently he is spokesperson for the NUTRiBULLET™ Superfood Nutrition Extractor (precisely as idiotic as it sounds), and co-founder of the online “health magazine” TheBestDayEver.com.

Diagnosis: Plenty to pick from, but Wolfe’s product line must count as one of the more ridiculous ones even on the Internet. It’s not hard to see how some could come to suspect that Wolfe may not himself be convinced by every aspect of his own marketing, but we’ll give him the benefit of doubt and just call him out as a ridiculous loon.

4 comments:

  1. I can't believe there are no comments in this piece, so I am posting one to see if it gets deleted by DW's people.
    Or should I say DAW's people because he seems to sport "Avocado" as a middle name. I guess incorporating an all-natural product into his name is preferable to those nasty, artificial postnominals favoured by some others (like M.D., B.Sc, Ph.D etc)

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  2. Why would Wolfe's people delete an entry here? The man is a fucking menace - but thanks to Free Speech he is seemingly unstoppable.

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  3. Fun fact: on a clear day you can see Wolfe's who from the top of the Empire State Building.

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  4. Wolfe is what the esteemed British philosopher David R. Lister would call a smeghead.

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