#1486: Diana Cooper

According to herself, Diana Cooper was “born on 7th September 1940 in the Himalayas at the exact second the first bomb fell on London [yeah, she might be British; we’ve no idea, and we don’t care];” indeed, she “was sent to bring in light to counteract the darkness at the other side of the world,” though her purpose in life was kept hidden from her until she was divorced at the age of 42, when “a beautiful six foot tall golden angel stood in front of me and pulled me out of my physical body. We flew together and it showed me many things. Finally we flew together over a hall full of people with rainbow auras and it told me I was on the platform for I was to be a spiritual teacher.” Yes, there of deep sadness to that story that Cooper doesn’t seem to be entirely aware of (which is part of what’s sad about it), but in any case Cooper subsequently “trained to become a hypnotherapist and set up in practice,” to help people get in touch with angels. Yes, Diana Cooper does angel therapy, and that is possibly the most ridiculous, silly and laughable branch of woo you’ll ever encounter (perhaps short of homeopathy). And in her book New Light on Angels she generously shares information she reports to have gained from the angels she’s met with you (the advice is, unsurprisingly, pretty inane, nebulous and offered in the kind of language stupid people think suggests profundity). She is also the founder ot the Diana Cooper Foundation, which offers advice and train angel healers.

On her website she will accordingly advice you on all things angelic and how you can use it in daily life. You could, for instance, make yourself an angelic healing ball to send energy. To do so, you need to “activate the palm chakras, by rubbing your hands together” and “[i]nvoke the angel of the energy that you wish to send, the angels of colour to add their energy to the ball and the angels of sound” (the quotes are from one Susan Rudd, who is “Master Teacher at Diana Cooper Foundation”). Apparently the ball exists only in your imagination, like everything else. You can also learn to communicate with animals. How? Well, make sure that you’re “asking the unicorns and [your] guardian angel to connect with the guardian angel of the animal or plant.” Wait, unicorns? Oh, yes, right. That’s another, uh, something you can communicate with. Cooper has written a book on them, too: The Wonder of Unicorns. “Enjoy connecting with them – it is magical and creates big energy shifts” (according to Penny Wing, “Master Teacher at the Diana Cooper Foundation”).

Of course, with a mind as unfettered by the constraints of reason and reality as Diana Cooper’s you can rest assured that she’s not going to limit herself to angels. Indeed, her website is a source of pastel woo so rich that it would rival the (usually somewhat angrier) information available whale.to. Extraterrestrials? You bet: “The Arcturians are one of the most advanced civilisations in the galaxy. They teach that the most important ingredient for living a 5th dimensional life is love.” Apparently we will all enter the 5th dimension by 2032 (as described in her book A New Light on Ascension), and it is a matter of opening new chakras – no, I have no idea how she defines “dimension”, but I doubt Cooper has any idea either.

And that’s just the beginning. Wouldn’t you just love to take the Lemurian Planetary Healing Course taught by various teachers from the Diana Cooper Foundation (“[b]y the way, a lot of us have had lifetimes in both Lemuria and Atlantis!” And apparently Hitler also escaped to Atlantis after WW2 since he was an inhabitant of Atlantis who fell to the dark side). Oh, and if you – like some customers – have wondered why there is a “spiral/swirl shape” on the Atlantis cards you can buy from the foundation, it is because “[w]hen the planet finally ascends it is predicted that a crystal cap will descend from the heavens onto the top of the Great Pyramid in Giza, Egypt. The energy from this crystal cap will spiral out round the world passing through and connecting all the sacred sites on the planet such as Stonehenge, Machu pichu and so on. The effect of this will create the final energies needed for the ascension of the planet.” That should clear it up.

Cooper herself has recently reasserted her optimism for the future since, according to her, angels are finally getting the recognition they deserve. Apparently organized religion has tried to keep this knowledge of angels from the masses (wait, what?), but people like Cooper has finally seen through this web of oh good grief, I can’t take this anymore. Visit her webpage yourself it you wish to wade further into this drivel.

Diagnosis: At least there is just so much love. Rainbows and unicorns and marshmallows, pink and light blue and fluffy and soft. Mostly harmless, though given her cognitive abilities I sure hope she doesn’t have a driver’s license.