#777: Robert Howard

Robert Howard is one of the leading experts on the Illuminati and freemasons in the US, or – as critics may put it as a means to blunt the impact of his worrisome nose-poking – a batshit insane conspiracy theorist. His work is featured for instance on the blog network Wake Up From Your Slumber (the main contributor to which seems to be one Tom Sullivan), and on whale.to, which should really tell you everything you need to know. In the article “13 and 33, the Freemason’s Signature” he elegantly combines conspiracy theory with numerology and free use of capslock to derive many, uh, novel results, for instance that most of the founding fathers and presidents of the US were freemasons, and that he Cuban missile crisis lasted 13 days, which suggests a ploy or fake crisis (indeed, he is shocked that the movie on the matter is called “13 days”, a title which to Howard suggests more freemason conspiracy rather than, you know, the fact that the crisis lasted for 13 days). Indeed, here you have everything, from the death of princess Diana to the moonlandings; all based on the numbers 13 and 33. It really is a must-read (especially the section where Howard employs rather feeble numerology to show the connection between the masons and everything from AOL and FEMA to Dairy Queen) and Mazda (Howard’s trucks have 13 gallon fuel tanks, which could hardly be a coincidence, now, could it?)

Diagnosis: I guess the world is richer for the existence of people like Howard. His influence is presumably negligible.